Wandering Fingers

Winter Warmth

2011-12-16T13:11:00.005+05:30

Cities impact your life. Cultures, people, landmarks and spirits affect you for sure; but positively or negatively is how one apprehend it. I personally believe that if one is open to explore the variety that a place has to offer, one cannot really ignore the brilliance of being in a new place and among new people. Impact of a place is much like, you can hate it or love it, but cannot ignore it. Worry not, if a new city doesn't affect you positively, for if it doesn't now, it surely will when you walk away.

As is said, distance makes you yearn for what has been left behind. Yet again and quite repetitively at that, I am again reminded of a city where I lived for quite a few years and which I would like to believe, helped me evolve and have shaped me as an individual. Shape, literally at that may be!

The breeze flowing with a certain romantic nip in it makes you feel happy, plain happy. The low fogs on the lake or the mighty river just acts as the soft curtain which raises itself with the subtle warm sun hopping in. The afternoons spent lying on the vast sheet of greenery, dotted with ponnies, sprinkled with the sweet aroma of oranges and a comfort quilt with friends around will surely not make you regret an ounce of missing out on anything lavish, for there can’t be anything as lavish and extraordinaire than this moment, if, you are living in and living it up.

Soaking in the brilliant glow of the angel’s face above that architectural grandeur you are reminded of a mere human existence. Just then, it’s best to walk in to the chapel which emancipates the hue even more wonderfully with the rainbow colored window panes. The soft hymns reverberate through your senses and you believe that if there’s a thing worth living, it’s this. While meandering through the alleys which stand as a witness to the great Victorian era, you bite into a lavish western breakfast and sip into the aromatic tea of the great land you reside in.

In the evening, when the air smells of sweet perfumes and people dressed in their generously elaborate woolens walk down the path, the welcoming gesture of the city’s glow resembles that perfect shy hue of a beauty walking by the side of its true love and people walking by with an eye longing for the same. Red, golden and silver strips of lights washing down the dirt and murk of an otherwise unnoticed life, the city awaits a gentle kiss on its cheek to re-emphasize the fact that one can live years and wait with a bated breath to get a glimpse of this beautiful, sweet and romantic lady glow in its cordial warmth.

To You,

With Love.

Celebration of Life

2011-09-28T19:50:00.002+05:30

...and an year rolled by, to welcome The Lady yet again. She waits as eagerly to visit her paternal home as much her annual arrival is awaited here. To welcome her, the sun awaits the tuneful blow of the conch shell collected from the deepest water and then the day breaks to give life a new definition with refined love, togetherness, peace and a heart full of celebration in all its forms.

... and yet another year passes by, when the beautiful city will stand elegant like a princess dressed in all her finery. Her natives from far and wide will lay bare in her motherly lap and get their soul rekindled with love, fun and madness. Merriment will be observed and ensured in all its form everywhere, but somewhere faraway, on this beautiful mother, the sun will glow a bit more brightly and will shower an ounce of warmth more.

... and then, a certain patch of the lively soul somewhere, will yearn for a bit more of the aroma of dhunuchi, phul and dhup that mix seamlessly to create a heavenly atmosphere which will further transcend with the chants during the pushpanjali. The ever enticing smell of the wicked chatim will fill the air to add a bit more charm of fun to the whole atmosphere. The alert ears will miss a beat on the dhaak and the conch blow.

The mind will wander away a bit to step in the lanes of South Calcutta and the galore of North Calcutta. The heart will miss a few more companion's silly banter, loud laughter and an extra step to the Maddox Square. The harried dress-up session at 95, Southern Avenue will be less harried with one less in blocking the mirror. The boisterous souls at Golpark, Kasba or Chetla will be met from a slight distance and finally the nightly treads to Gariahat, Lake Road, Bhowanipore will have a company less till another dawn breaks till the next.

... and till then the festivity will be observed with full mirth and undiminished enthusiasm for nothing can possibly alter the spirit of presence of the Goddess on Earth.

Unfooled Delirium

2011-04-01T12:01:00.008+05:30

Hope every day in the year was a Fool's Day. The reality would have appeared even lighter.

It's getting tad bit difficult.

The witness of dark nights and fear of darker dreams. The eye's been a sore. Misses the caress of comforting and soothing dreams.

Mind's been treacherous of late. Wanders in unknown and soot drenched alleys.

Speak. For the duration.Will promise to be patient irrespective of the degree of wrath.

An ocean doesn't have to prove its might by swallowing a radar-less boat caught in a storm. Is not it?

VIBGYOR

2011-03-17T21:16:00.000+05:30

Holi from my childhood days are something i envy today, needless to mention there are a line up of many miore such days.

On this day then i used to wake up early in the morning and hunted out that old and withered frilled white frock. Morning was about gulping some interesting breakfast. Soon after, i used to run down to the "laal-bari" to join my cousins for the occassion. All gathered with our choice of colors, splashes of colors on the frock, all merry and tireless, the morning went in a jiffy. Evenings were equally interesting with parents joining the gang with "abir". Abir smelt air and the evening sky colored looked brighter with the brightest of colors.

Years went by and the days changed, went to Hazaribagh. Celebration was equally exciting but lacked the grandeur. Absence of 9 cousins to play Holi with, the number came down to 1, and i still remember something from those days. A mean gesture rather. Amidst examinations, I was sitting sad. He came up with his palms painted in green and smeared the color on my face from behind, pissed, i didnt enjoy it. I went crazy and screamed at him, went and washed my face rite away...i still regret that behaviour of mine. With an opportunity anytime in future, i would take it all in mirth. Promise :)

Then days were brighter and the boundaries opened beyond the gathering of 9 cousins. I was a hosteller at the Banaras Hindhu University. Hundreds of girls of more or less the same age..but that's the age where people are serious about their being seniors and juniors than any other thing under the sun, but Holi was one leveler. On this day there were no restrictions and orders took a back seat. The water reservoir under the fountain was filled with water and the color of the water changed in seconds, after playing colors for hours, amidst the examination months, we were treated with special lunch. It was fun..Undoubtedly

Years older. Jadavpur University. Not much to be said, but colors were played more on the day before the occassion than on the day.

Since then, only a year or two, i celebrated Holi, but honestly not as heartily. Sometime later, it was on Holi, i.went to a friend's place, while returning a girl on the road sprayed color on me, i was more than happy, i was reminded of my frilled frocks.

Then, Days started shedding off colors. Nevertheless, with all fun and memories, this day brings in a sign of hope, a dream of coloring the world in our own bright way.

HAPPY HOLI.. :)

Sloshed Rhythm

2011-02-28T15:42:00.005+05:30

A pencil in hand
after years swept in sand
not much to moan
neither much left in hand.

Friends around
talking over bottles of rum;
about times to come
and of the by-gone.

A bit sleepy
at the dawn break,
darkened hours though;
unfolds a brighter day

By the sea, i sit and sing
of hopes and wishes
and dreams of colorful days.

Trigger Dream

2011-02-22T19:20:00.005+05:30

Disclaimer: Romantic overdose, incoherence, displaced emotions, urge to express certain nonsense and all possible meaningless questions! Read at your own risk. ;-)

for lack of better pictorial representation, but nothing beats this.. :)

When the moon descends with its silver veil

To the shimmering puddles on the lake

Will you sit by my side to say?

Life’s nothing but a golden deck!

Will you take my hand into yours?

Will you promise a life long sail?

Through the crest and troughs in the years ahead!

Without Music Life would be a Mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

2011-02-06T03:04:00.001+05:30

Otherwise a restless person, I have observed that i can stick to only one thing and spend hours.

It washes away the dust of mundaneness,
It soothes the madness,
It elates the feeling of Feeling Good,
It erases the lows,
It establishes the point of "Change" and 'Constant" in the sweetest possible way,
It teaches me to take as It comes,
It negates the malice,
It helps me to laugh when i feel so,
It encourages me to cry if something feels dry.
and
It gives me a High
and gives me reasons enough to Live my Life.

"Without certain things, life wouldn't have been what it is.
Precious of them all is what we call Music!"

2011-01-29T16:01:00.000+05:30

As weird as it can get! A weird thought passed my mind today.

Which is more scary and difficult to survive!

Running amidst a blazen forest or

jumping into a whirlpool from a height?

just as intense the thought was, i needed a smoke to relax.

Hungry and sleepy a bit
Helped myself with a packet of Maggi
and a mug of coffee in my fist

Set with plate, mug and fork
i sat on the bed
and read while waiting for the stuff
to cool to taste

Reading the last line of an engrossing paragraph,
I saw two red ants running over the page.
Fingerpede (if that is a word) it and saw two more,
and then came running, a few more.

To check the scene i picked up the plate

and saw them running with an attacking gaze!

some swimming in the coffee, some burning in the heat
they had taken up the bed and i felt a red swollen itch.

The question suddenly changed!
which is more scary?!
to eat ant littered food or sleep with them!
and bam intruded the Reality check!

So to conclude:
Life addressed as Dude,
you think i am unaware of the fact that i am one of your prey?!

you attack me in situations where worst expected!

to top it all

Your friend, Destiny, never ever showed me its pretty face

A request if i do!

I know i am whacky in my own little way

but can you please stop poking so hard to say?!

My energy and enthusiasm

matches my bank balance

so i cannot give in much effort to strike on your ugly looking face

but pounce back i will, for sure

tommorrow or day after whenever i conjure.

Warm Fragrance

2010-12-05T18:46:00.000+05:30

Fragrance of winter winds, moisturisers, of those packed woollens..like those napthalene balls lending the woollens their warmth, the fragrance of warmth, of closeness, of nearness, of love that keeps life going in the otherwise chill.

The onset of winter with its characterised morning sun invading the warm intimacies of lip-locked lovers in arms....and the day rolls in.

The winter afternoon with its warm touch..like someone standing by you, holding your hand, assuring you the pleasure of togetherness and with the clock ticking toward the day's end, the fading sun caressing smoothly like lovers walking down a sun-washed alley to part for the day before their next meet, with a gentle kiss stamping their departure and a gentle touch holding a promise to meet soon....and the sun rolls down...

Blisss..phhhh

2010-11-19T15:53:00.000+05:30

Blissful

Drinking to the tee…drinking like never before and like there’s no tomorrow and enjoying it to the core as always. With ever increasing waist line and then as any sane person would do, blowing up the rest of the meager earned honey called money in shopping.

Not so Blissful

Other activities largely comprises of watching movies...Bollywood Loyalist...you see... no matter how much I crib and cry after watching those shit-spattered on the screen, my Fridays remain incomplete without having gone through that shit splash once a week. You despise me...I DO NOT give a DAMN.

Falling in love with the sea over and over again is not something that I can get over with in this life at least. Bombay looks good with its scorching sun in November and the awkward November Rains.

Lovingggggg It.. J

Where From and Where To !!

2010-10-17T14:45:00.000+05:30

The 'Notion' of "Pujo-Merriment" ends for this year. The last four days were spent amidst certain issues that worried me, certain gathering where i laughed to welcome the dawn and certain incidents that got etched in those dark memory chambers. 'Pleasurable' it was in its own way. Amidst friends and laughter many were remembered and missed till the dream of a faraway bejeweled city trampled the silence of the night. 'She' leaving for abode wrenches my heart even today. Logical explanation strongly proclaims that the 'reason to leave' is to 'return soon'. The idols with which i shared my deepest secrets and to whom i murmured my prayers will again sink in the murkiness of the monotonous fight to Survive.

********************

I again read Love Story, Heidi and Jungle Book. This time while i held these books and moved my eyes through the soft words, the greyness of aging or the speed of raging towards an uncertain future stared hard. The glaring truth of having strained relationship with 'Innocence' and leaving the sense of excitement of being able to relate with the protagonists far behind, posed question about why can't these pieces be enjoyed with the same enthusiasm as was possible ten or fifteen years back?! As an answer I will go back to keep these books in my school library, where i got acquainted with the most enjoyable music of life... 'the hushed humming of my classmates' and then will go and stand by the side of the lake where the setting sun imparts the most vibrant hue to welcome the bright moon and the twinkling stars. I will leave these books on the grass by that lake where open eyed dreams knew what a soul mate is.

**********************

Twelve years: left Daltonganj. A small, uncivilized, barbaric town in Jharkhand. Yes, the adjectives perfectly define the place, but sadly not as per my belief. How can I?! The hot afternoon loo taught me that 'unbearable' is just a word, everything has a soothing presence about itself. Had it not been so hot, could i have ever known what fun it was to sit with cousins and play tell-a-tale under the staircase! The chilly winter breeze silenced me with its gift when questioned about its pinch on the bare skin. It whispered in my ear that had it been not the way it is,how would i have enjoyed the bliss of those morning dew. The swelled up river Koel never stood by me and always encouraged me to flow along with.

**********************

Blurred Vision

2010-09-16T11:34:00.001+05:30

..and you HAVE to say this and you turn around with that ‘gossip’ urge just to realize, its a different office, different environment, different people and then you turn to the screen and log on to g-chat and see that green blob beside the name with whom you wanted to share it..but the excitement-of-the-moment-and-matter is gone.

...and you want to sip some coffee and chat and laugh it out loud and bitch and after you have dialled, the phone rings and you realize the geographical distance between, but then you continue to talk some irrelevant stuff while trying to fight the distance.

...and you have that ‘blank expression’ on your face after coming out of the theatre, and on gauging the ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ of the expression you miss words like ‘and this awesomeness calls for a celebration’.. or ‘ we really need to treat ourselves for going through such a pain’... and in either cases you head to one of your favourite places on earth or its just Someplace Else.

Forwarded SMS vs. The Quilt .. ;-D

2010-08-05T15:06:00.008+05:30

May be it wasn't necessary to discuss certain things...

It wan't at all necessary to tread down the memory lane and ask whether he remembered their first outing together!

It wasn't at all necessary to let him know that it felt bad when he took immense pleasure and got his ego boosted up with those frequent 'silent treatments'

It was not at all necessary to let him know that she remembered certain dates more than she could remember her first salary date/month and year

But it was necessary for her to get the fact reinstated that it was a deal sealed for enjoying certain physical intimacies.. she gave in "whole-'heart'edly" and he was there with all his might...

It was necessary to enjoy a certain thing with him and for once...'His Silence', which boomeranged on to him when he was casually being questioned initially and then he fell into the trap. She could almost see him crave for a shelter to save himself from the fury of the questions which she never intended to ask otherwise.

For once she made him suffer in his own 'Silence'. She gave a shit about the 'self-pity' reply from him, which read, "Honestly, I am to be blamed". She knew that she had nailed him atop, she knew it was like a conscious mind and brain going through the sheer pain of an amputated feet and hands.

One last sms she wrote, "Will be meeting Kruti over a coffee tomorrow. she want to tell me about the guy she is recently going around with, coincidentally, the guy's your namesake."

To this he sweated in the dark and cold silence of his room and she slipped into the warmth of her quilt while switching her phone into the silent mode with a smile and thanked some one for the meaninglessness of these stupid forwarded sms. Someone was caught tight and unalarmingly by sending a fake 'emotion evoking' forwarded sms.

Next morning she woke up to see 88 missed calls from the same number, her day started with a bout of laughter... for she knew not any Kruti in this whole universe.

Shower and Smile.. :)

2010-07-20T16:47:00.007+05:30

A few things first:

I love noticing the numbers ascending beside the word 'comment'..but i get equally disheartened when i land in there all-exited just to realize that i don't know the language... :(.. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart hoping that you have appreciated my writing.. :)..but if you care to discontinue you will be even more appreciated for not leading me to a 'hope-n-miss' case.

I changed the template and the font and that motivated me to write today.

***********

Me in Bombay...for good...having a good time in the new office, loving the work which is similar to what i did long time back and i am enjoying this to the core.

Meeting old friends, chatting, catching up from where we left some ten, seven and two years back, making new friends.

Exploring areas, getting lost, missing the obvious turns to reach certain places, staring hard at the bus route no. and destination written, standing for hours at some stoppage or stations simply to observe the motion, it feels good.

Running to the terrace at midnight, awake from a sleep, to enjoy the silence in an otherwise not-so-silent city, it feels great.

Decorating the room with all stuff which never appeared so dear before...a beautiful room but not yet as warm as the one at 95, southern avenue...one thing that never went out of my mind for a nano second since i have left the city.

Shuffling the radio stations to know the programs by time and station. i miss the 'familiar' voices.

The frequent drizzle, present-continuous rains, flickering sun, steady moon and the absent stars make my day.

Thus were my last 30 days...hope to have more of such experiences. :)

P.S: Not getting over 95, Southern Avenue, Lake Road Barista, Sector V, Park Street, Boulevard Swimming Pool, Deshapriya Park, South City is not that i am sad about or i crib... but with these memories i walk to get a glimpse of the city which i am sure will be as much familiar in the coming years..

I Remember the Day ..

2010-05-21T15:27:00.005+05:30

..started with appreciating the western ghats, streams, tunnels, winding roads and rails, greenery and the dried patches, the serpentine rails and then a sudden realization with an awe.... "Gosh, as soon as this scenic stretch ends, i will find myself in a new place, with new faces all around, away from everything known to the core".

i remember making an unreal, impractical wish: The train should move on with its whistle blowing and tearing apart the fear of the unknown, let this be a journey with no destination.

Reality: The train stopped...yes it did and i was standing amidst everything new with a new found enthusiasm, a new hope to live it up to the fullest..with a new realization.I was embraced by the so called unknown and i realized that i was living a dream tucked faraway.

Thought: Will i be there again and this time will I get a chance to embrace what embraced me an year and a half ago.. !!!!...I Wish..

ABC down the Memory Lane.. :)

2009-11-20T12:18:00.007+05:30

okk..so i have been tagged twice and today finally i will be doing both the tags... I was tagged by this enthusiastic lady, to whom i bow down for inspiring me to sleep in the office, to be happy...i mean to eat to heart's content and then work out and to feel good and act accordingly even if someone rightly.. :P took you for an 18 yr old, all mesmerizing pretty lady or makes a mistake in addressing you as someone who has gathered experiences in life but that doesn't get reflected in the natural hair color ... So here i go.. :D:D

Tag 1:

A – Available/Single?

of course, Single.. y both the options together???!!!

B – Best friend?

i have many Good Friends...concept of BEST worked out when i was in 3rd, 4th or 5th standard

C – Cake or Pie?

Cakessss

D – Drink of choice?

Anything cold

E – Essential item you use every day?

Soap

F – Favorite colour?

Red

G – Gummy Bears Or Worms?

None

H – Hometown?

Daltonganj

I – Indulgence?

Dresses

J – January or February?

February, salary comes early. :D

K – Kids & their names?

whose???

L – Life is incomplete without?

Fun

M – Marriage date?

again whose???

N – Number of siblings?

None

O – Oranges or Apples?

Can i choose both??!!!

P – Phobias/Fears?

Snakes

Q – Quote for today?

Huh!!!....78 thousand million pounds???!!!! :D:D

R – Reason to smile?

Numerous

S – Season?

Sumer, Winter, Rainy, Spring, Autumn

T – Tag 3 People?

Apurva, Devesh, Soumyajit..my new blogmates.. :)...

U – Unknown fact about me?

Smart huh!!...y do i disclose??!!!

V – Vegetable you don't like?

if cooked well i can eat anything...i am a foodie..

W – Worst habit?

Again...smarter..!!!

X – X-rays you've had?

Chest..yes..longbackkkk...

Y – Your favorite food?

Foodie i am...

Z – Zodiac sign?

Sagittarius..remember i b'day is just a few days away...

yeaaa..this was fun.. :)

Now this is another one, "The Memory Tag", where you make a note of 9 sweet memories, i.e, things you miss the most from the by-gone days. I have many posts labeled "Nostalgia", those posts almost say the same story, but here when i get a chance again to scream aloud about what was sooo Good during those days..i think i should not let this opportunity go.. :) infact, i can never get enough of the good old, memories...so here i am again... :)

Disclaimer: Quite a lengthy one..read at your own risk.. :)

1) Luuuwwww for animals:

Now this is one thing, that my mother keeps telling me even today when she is tired of walking with me. Actually, what happens is, i stop to cuddle baby dogs, cats, cows and any such sweet creatures whenever i get to see them on road, and obviously my mother is bored of waiting for me after every two steps, when i sit down to cuddle the animals...well, this is present and here about the past....

Age: 3-6 No one in the family( no matter how dear he/she was to me) could make me have my lunch, if i didn't get to see any baby goat, cow, dog, sheep tied to a post in the courtyard. So my father and a few "help" went running after every such creature around 12.30-1 in the afternoon, so that i eat peacefully and let everyone else be at peace. Thank God he was self-employed or i would have died of hunger.. :D. Once the animal was in front, i would empty my plate within minutes and then would let that animal go free.

2) Brasso

Age: 3- 15 In retrospection to the 1st point, My father started buying artifacts of every animals known to human, made out of bronze, iron, clay or anything, to relieve himself from the duty of running behind animals everyday. and as the number of these artifacts increased, it was a tedious task to polish those pieces and to keep them back in the show case. In a year, there are 2 occasions when these artifacts are polished, Durga Puja and Bengali's New Year. So during these occasions, me, my father and mother used to sit together and polish all these stuff with "Brasso" and keep them back in place.

I miss that act of sitting together and polishing the animals. Now, my parents continue to do it religiously minus my presence.

3) Guardian Angel

This is when i was in std. 1st/2nd. Foodie that i am, and given my love for rice, i can sit and have it at any given time of the day. So there were these maids, who would sit and have their lunch together, say at around 2-2.30, as in when the family members were done with. So everyone used to bring their plate, sit in a circle and have their lunch in the courtyard. They sat with a jug of water, a bottle of pickle, some onions, chillies and salt. Now, yours truly, went silently and sat beside them with eyes on plate, movement of their hands from plate to mouth and vice-versa and would give a smile if anyone happened to look at her. Seasoned that they were with this cheap habit of mine, they didnt bother much and continued with their lunch. But there were days, when i proved lucky and someone would just give me a gulp or two to munch. Silently haan..if anyone from the family gets to know or see this, i will be beaten to death and needless to say they were more concerned about my well being. As fate had it, it was my mother who saw me from the veranda upstairs, came down, dragged me without saying a word and the maid who fed me, left her plate and came in shouting.."maine use diya hai, wo nahi mangi thi" and on hearing this, slaps went on my cheeks, back, legs and where not..left, right and center.

This is to say, i miss all of them and more with passing time, i miss their warmth, love and care. They have been in our house for generations and knew family members better than one's own brother, sister, mother or father. They were like Guardian Angel as at times they were the only one to save you from getting some real bad bashing for something foolish or bad you have done.

4) Green and red basket

Age: 4- 6. There were two baskets, green-mine and red-cousin's. These were our dress baskets, stuffed with simple and beautiful dresses, frilled, sleeveless white mini frocks with flower and bird motifs sewed on the chest and at the fall. Invariably, my cousin after the bathing ritual..which was of course an elaborative and exhaustive one for my mother and aunt. It was really tough for my mother and my aunt to make us stand still and scrub because once the soap was applied on our face, me and my cousin would run around with our eyes closed to catch each other...and after bath, my cousin, without fail, would pick a frock from the green basket and i would stand happy as she chose one from my basket and not her own. so her basket was always neat and tidy as neither of us touched the basket. On the contrary, my Basket look Tsunami-struck as she would choose one lying at the bottom. Last time, i went home, i saw two baskets kept one upon another and all empty.

I miss someone happily wearing my dresses. Now no one can, for the unique girth that i have acquired over the past few years.. :) and also we dont get any more such simplest and most beautiful dresses now.. :)

5)The Monkey Act

Age: 10-15. This is something i miss most from my childhood days...Trees, fruits and squirrels. Summer afternoon were spent in the mango tress...all younger cousins standing below the tree and the elder ones on the tree. we would pluck mangoes and throw it to them..the younger ones would collect and then all together we used to go to the kitchen, offcourse, when parents league were taking a nap. Then we made that khatta meetha aam ka chatni with salt, mustard oil and red chilli and then quarrel our ass out while having it, because as per the rule..people who climbed the tree were suppose to get more than the one who were standing below collecting the fruit.. :)

With the weight gained, let alone climbing on the trees, i can often hear trees wailing if i pass by some huge tree and a secret desire of climing on the tree flashes my mind.. :D:D:D

6) The School Rickshaw Van

std:I/II This was one fascination i had...i loved to push the rickshaw van..Now there was this road, slight steep and up-hill, so senior students as in students of std. 3-4, gleefully jumped out of the rickshaw at a particular point and then used to push the rickshaw. i always looked at the act with an eye "when will i reach std. 3rd!!!"...as it was, i couldn't hold on for long and then one day bribed the rickshaw puller(bhaiyaa- as we called him) with a sweet smile and "mere ko aata hai rickshaw dhakelna" talks. so bhaiyya agreed and i also jumped out of the rickshaw along with other boys at the right point and time....(there weren't any girls in the rickshaw as far as i remember.). so what happened was..there were no students left inside the rickshaw van, and it was super easy for bhaiiya to pull the rickshaw up the slope. so everything happened pretty fast and the rest jumped into the rickshaw in a fraction of second...so all climbed up pretty quickly and as i was the last one, one of the student i remember told me to hold his hand so that he can pull me up quickly..but given the degree of my adamance, i refused and in the mean time the rickshaw pulled up fast and i laid fallen on the street, scratched my knee and elbow, and crying to wake up some deaf beggar too if there were any around.

So i reach home with knees and elbow cut, blood flowing et al. but as i remeber the incident, it makes me laugh because, i wasnt crying much about the fact that i fell and had hurt myself, rather because, as i entered the home still crying loud to deafen anyone around, i knew how will my mother react to it and more because of the thrashing i would get now. My mother and grand mother standing next to each other, my grand mother was almost there to hug me when my mother snapped in and gave me a brutal tight slap, as she knew (rightly, i use this word now, it didn't appear "right" to me back then), it was mistake of none under the sun and whatever happened, happened only because of my desire to be the smart ass every time.

I still miss my primary school, that rickshaw van and that ride along the steep road just at the turn from where you could see River Koel.

7) The Trio

Me, my grandmother and grand father. i remember we three sat together, me on my grand mother's lap. grand mother (Dida) and grandfather (dadu) would talk about anything and everything under the sun, and he also cracked some foolish jokes i believe, because what rings in my ear till date is my grandmother's hearty and loud laugh. i used to sleep with them too. i didnt need my mother and father, grandparents mattered to me the most at that age. i also remember my parents used to go anywhere keeping me with my grandparents at times also out of station, i had no complains, neither do i have one at this age. had it not been my parents i would have never got to know what love of grandparents mean.. :). i used to cry my lungs out when my grand parents went on tour or visit some places. My grandmother died suddenly, when i was in std. 3rd.

She is the one i miss the most in my life, infact, honestly, i haven't coped up with her death till date.

8) My uncle's marriage

Me and my cousin, (as mentioned in point 3) were the center of attraction during this event. we were the youngest and tiniest of all in the whole get-together. i remember wearing a white, sleeveless frock with pink embroidery on the wedding day and both of us wearing bermuda on the reception day. now when i see the photographs, i find us both the cutest thing in the whole event. Straight neck length hair, with chinese cut in front (as in hair covering the forehead), white tee shirt, blue bermuda. Cousin: unruly wavy hair, two pony tails, white tee and red bermuda. eating to glory, pampered by one and all, no studies and all fun and frolic. needless to say i had my quota of bashing because i climbed up the bamboos which were tied to build the samiyana. i still remember i reached a height where no one could reach me and people standing on the ground and asking me to get down and me shouting from top, "tell me you will not scold me or beat me, only then i will come down."..i was said i wont be scolded when i was up there...moment i came down...promise was history.. :D

But one thing i miss now is that, no matter how much i was bashed and beaten, i miss that closeness, that bonding in today's family. let alone uncles and aunties treating you as their own children and feeding u, beating u and scolding u....today i know families where one cousin doesnt even know much about their own cousin.

9) Lastly and most importantly: Joint Family

I miss the joint family structure. It had its share of bad and ugly, but it also had much positive aspect to it. The togetherness, the occasions and festivals celebrated together, gloom shared, laughter spread. it taught me discipline(though the post doesn't say much about my disciplined childhood rather me being a disciplined child), but on a serious note it teaches you to act on time, it teaches u patience, it teaches you meaning of words like respect, honour, faith, trust and many similar words which are less in use today. i remember on weekend morning the constant reminders from any elders dragged us to have a bath on time. Any elders would just say it loud and we knew the instruction went for all. keeping all our stories to rest for half or one hour, we took bath right on time, we woke up on time, we ate on time, we ate together, we slept together. No matter who said what, even if you dont accept you have to act in a way so that the one in front is not hurt or disrespected and that applied for people of all age and class.

There was quite a bit of fun in that disciplined and restricted life which i fail to get today, as an independent person.

Smile :-)

2009-11-14T21:21:00.002+05:30

Hey...Whats up??!!!How is Life???!!! I ask this question to myself many a times...More when i am not doing fine...not physically...but more when something from within tickles and say.."There's something not in place, dude!!"...and just to console myself and to move on i say "Yes", but right then i actually get to sense how superficial the answer was.

Today was a pretty bright day...infact not actually as is expected in the second week of November...woke up in the morning...it was quite hot..treated myself with cookies and a cuppa "Infusion"...the famous Coffee House of Kolkata has this written on their menu card for "Black Coffee"... :)..How a few things just come up, na...well, for people living outside Kolkata, whenever you visit The City of Joy, make it a point to go to The Coffee House.

Then, my flatmate wished me "Happy Children's Day"...wished her back with a huge smile :)

People whoever are on my Facebook friend list, might have noted my status message. For the rest, i was suppose to go to the Kolkata Film Festival, thought of watching "Tum Mile", needed to go to the cobbler and parlour et al....and, knowing myself, i also gave this note at the end: ..."Hope the 'Lethargy Bug' keeps off", but to no rescue..it did hit me right on time...

It was almost 12 by then, so went for a bath, had lunch, watched a movie on Television, took a short nap, woke up, "Infusion", TV, online..and it was again 8pm.

But know what...after a long long time...this has happened. I am rarely at home...infact, weekdays or weekends, i stay at home till i am doing something. On weekends..washing, dusting et al and moment its over..i walk out..literally.. :)..either watching a movie all by myself, shopping, chatting with friends, at Barista and around the city and finally at home when the moon is almost about to pass my balcony, and right on time, i go running to the balcony and wish it a good-bye till the next day(well, before that ultra-dark night..i also give it a flying kiss and a bunny hug, as it wont be present the next day and will be difficult to locate for the next few days)....

But today, right before i started writing this, i asked myself, casually, just for the sake of it..."Hey Wazzup, how's life??!!!" and prompt came the answer with a smile catched unaware...."Absolutely Fine, Dudette"...and this answer made me feel more content, more happy..and this answer for sure was not superficial..it came from the same chamber as the question and the smile stood as stamp of assurance.

And then i realized, we often in our hurry to catch up with things around, to do the mundane, to smile at people, to answer the questions...we forget to keep a note about what is the person inside doing???!!!...Its not about being selfish..or self centered...its just a time when you take an off from your surroundings to pay a visit to the self that makes you what YOUare to the world and offcourse to yourself...

Well, i am not the kind of person who crib and complain..yea..offcourse there are times when i actually do so, but overall i am a very happy kind of a person. I cannot pressurize myself or keep myself tensed for long. I can actually be the happiest person in any given situation, but that comes with a big IF, i.e, I am Happy only if I want to be... and thats what i think is important. One cannot let anyone take him/her for granted, nor should one always intervene in what others are doing.

A few statement stands true,very true, and more often than not i try to follow those lines:
Live and Let Live
Smile and the world smiles with you

At the end...i know only one thing:
Its my life...its a blessing and i got to live it up...i got to live it to the hilt...i got to be Happy and should always enjoy the blessing...

On that note and on this "Children's Day" let us all be as pure and true and lets smile that "Lovely Innocent Smile"...Kudos to Life and Lets be Happy and make the world a happier place to be... :-)

Dreams

2009-10-29T17:32:00.000+05:30

She walked up the stairs silently...she knew a tap of the heels would bring in the people of the adjacent apartments to the eye-hole on their doors.

She was walking up the stairs in perfect silence and shivered once on seeing him standing at the staircase landing. She waited in front of the 2nd floor apartment door as he went to the 3rd floor to get the keys for the 2nd floor apartment. She blankly stared at the door of the apartment on the 3rd floor.

she knew no matter how much she loved him, she would never be entitled to set her feet inside the apartment above, his actual "Home". She was even more sure that he would meet her at the second floor apartment only till the day, when someone more near to his life "socially" would be accepted heartily by his family members and will be welcomed to the warmly lit 3rd floor apartment.

Her silent cry went unnoticed with the screeching sound of the door leading them to the dark and cold apartment on the 2nd floor.

Pearl

2009-10-01T13:24:00.003+05:30

It's been long that she has actually been the way she wanted to be. She laughed, danced and roamed as if it was her last day on earth.

Somewhere down she wanted to escape the wrath and fury of all that looked beautiful, pleasurable and jazzy, coz somewhere down she knew all that looked good had the darkest contours within.

Yes, she knew that the realization had dawned late, it was too late for her to accept that "nothing but opposite strikes", and this is what she wants to hold on all through. She somehow always managed to console herself with sweet words, knowing those were as meaningless, but this time she was sure she wont let the days pass by as the days that were already gone.

She bid her parents "the-all-Smile-and-Happy" Goodbye to turn around soon and be part of the gang whose giggles were tearing apart the grave silence of bidding adieu?

She laid in the bed as a stone remembering her mother's lap when she had a high fever, though would never let that precious pearl drop fall off her eyes???!!!!

She laughed at the joke her friends cracked regarding her being betrayed by someone she adored????

She just hung up the phone silently on realizing that the voice on the other side suddenly went low as she introduced herself???

Well, and many many more such instances where she reacted the way just to put up a "Strong-Self", little did she had an idea that the "Portrayed-Strong-Self" was one of her attempt to make the "Opposites Strike", which actually killed her.

May Well Be

2009-09-10T09:18:00.003+05:30

Its now time to..

Get the dresses, jewelleries, chappals and the various shades of color

Smell the flowers, enjoy the bright sun and stare at the white, fluffy clouds passing by.

Time to shed off all that is dark and look up to a bright new beginning.

Spend days with people who have been with you, and to welcome back all who moved on

To strengthen and renew the bond

To let each other know of what was left behind, to let each other hear that remained unspoken.

To get a reassurance of the strength that we possess

To brighten which already exist

To acquire the vigour of accepting the unknown.

To reinstate the assurance of all being well and to hope for its remaining so forever.

Tee hee hee :)

2009-07-30T17:51:00.004+05:30

Ok..this will be a morale boosting post...you know what..i have been awarded for all the crap i write here. Who else on earth can be as sweet as the blogger friends.

We fellow bloggers do not know each other, we have never seen each other, but we kind of get a picture of the FBs through the posts. We get to know where they live, what they do, apparently what disposition the person has, their knacks and interests, their dislikes and irritation, their highs and lows and a few more interesting facts.

At times we eagerly wait for someone's comment and at times for someone's post... a beautiful relationship we have developed... and sweet expectations which are more often than not, met.

So this sweet lady, Smita has passed this award on to me and i am more than happy for this is my first award ever here on the blogosphere.

P.S.: Having said that i want to know how do i keep it up on the side bar of the blog template..no, please dnt tell me the way, the indiblogger people describe it..i dnt understand it, really....can anyone please help me? and i know the answer..there will be many to give a patient hearing to my dumb questions..and this is why i call this a lovely relationship.

O.K, for once in my life i have been serious while talking about friends, so please do not take it otherwise...i LUWWWW you all....

And here goes my most precious award with applaud from the audience:

see see. look look...

A few rules tagged with the award:

Rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you

2. Copy the image above, the rules and the questionnaire in this post.

3. Post this in one or all of your blogs.

4. Answer the four questions following these Rules.

5. Recruit at least seven (7) friends on your Blog Roll by sharing this with them.

6. Come back to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR (PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THIS LINK) at http://bloggistame.blogspot.com and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List.

7. Have Fun!

Answers:

1. Smita gave me this award: .

2. 7 bloggers to whom i pass this award:

3. Tagged on :24th July, 2009

What goes around comes around

2009-07-23T09:35:00.010+05:30

Disclaimer: This is a long long post

Circa 2000

Location: Varanasi

Setting: In a room, some 4-5 girls giggling, talking non-sense and trying to make the most of a hot sunday afternoon

Status:Hosteler/student

Roommate(RM)(opens the door with a bang and screams in): My boyfriend is coming...yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Me: ohh..who?

RM: (Silence) Gives me a look.

Me: no, i mean...which one?

RM: A dirtier look (The rest: falls apart laughing)

Me: No i mean...

RM: ....Can you please try to understand and then speak?

Me: yeah.... i'm trying to....

RM: (snaps in) My BOYFRIEND is coming from Hyderabad

Me: ohh..you have big connections..!!

RM: ohh..yes man, i worked (read: gave in a lot of effort) on it...he studies in Hyderabad and visits his parents in Dubai and will be going for his Masters in the US of A and is coming to visit his girlfriend in Varanasi. (the last part of the sentence goes with an elan)

Me: ohh woow...Globe trotter

RM: well, girls(Addresses to all in the room), i need your help...i need the best Sari, need to wear the best make-up and i need to look "GORGEOUS"...you understand??

(Turns to me), Can you please lend me that white sari with golden zari and motifs all over???

Me: (Zapped..no idea of what this storm has struck)..ohh..yeah..definitely (someone rightly said: Charity begins at home)

RM: and i think your blouse will fit me fine.

One of the rest: if not, you can stitch it in...(yaa..she has to make this point clear that my RM has got the best figure...ohh yes these are the words most needed to boost one's confidence and morale at such *fate-changing* situation)

RM to the rest: and i need to check your make-up box for the right shade of lipstick

Me: but why so much...i mean you can be in your t-shirt and jeans, rite!!

RM: Can you please keep shut and stop giving your expert comments???? and yes ..you will help me with wearing the Saree.

ME: *that will sure be an event*..oohh..yess...

The Day:

RM woke up at some 5-5.30 am, me still snoring, she wakes me up with a direct hit on my bum..me with half opened/half closed eyes, seeing her bathed so early scared the hell out of me..

Me: Good morning, y did u take a bath so early? you will catch cold.

RM: stop the shit and help me, now get up, dn't be so lazy...the train is running on time

Me: ohh yes..while wrapping the saree (not getting an iota of "What is this Happening!!!!"..I need to change my room..my roommate has taken a bath before 6 am...)

Finally, after 30 good minutes..she is ready, she is wearing a saree, matched accessories, the right shade of lipstick and yes she is looking beautiful..err.."GORGEOUS"

RM: How am i looking?

Me: yeaah..Beautiful..i mean damn beautiful...he wont get much chance to appreciate the Holy Ganges and the Ghats.

RM:..hmm...anyways...will beback by 7 p.m.

Me (thinking):*12 hrs...wnt u get bored?!*( but then at times you need to keep your thoughts as thoughts and should not speak out...good..i am learning things.)

off to sleep, wake up at 1..room empty..obviously missed the breakfast..good that i woke up now..its lunch time and i won't die hungry.

1800hrs: All "loosers" (read: people without boyfriends) sitting by the fountain, gossiping, munching,bitching.

1900hrs: Almost dark and i scream...hey..who is that beautiful lady at the gate..cant b anyone's mother..looks too hot and young..may b someone's didi..whose?? No one in our campus looks like having such a pretty lineage...!!!

Some one from the group hits me and says: You blind bitch, she is your room mate

Me: oh yes..come lets go to the room.... stories enough to spend the whole night..we must start early...tomorrow is Monday...

We all along with my "Pretty Roomy" heading towards the room, all eyes set on her...some making her feel like a "Queen" and i am there to welcome her by un-latching the door.

All sitting, the Queen starts. (Though not looking much enthusiastic about the whole affair.)

Me: Are you tired or something..then we can wait till tomorrow evening to get the gossip..or if its too late for you to hold on we can spend the night gossiping. so you can take rest now

RM: *Furious* wattt??? you said that word "Gossip"...i mean how can you.......(continues till the room is relatively empty and i am the only one in the front standing unarmed). Anyways..seems like we will have to wait...

22oo hrs and as planned..again all around...my Roomy/the Queen..me playing the host to orders like...."Zara paani dena/ biscuit hai tumhare room mein/ Mixture/ Pickles...to all questions my one word answer "No"...some says..."Sali kya bhikhari hai re tu log!!!!!"and my roomy just couldnt take that and turns to me and says, look there in my bag are two Dairy Milk Chocolate..get those. 'ohh..so didnt u remember that when everyone left in the evening and i was faking to study hard to escape your verbal wrath!!!!.'

RM: Okk...girls are you interested to know wat happened?

In Unison: man, we cant wait anymore. 'what you think we all are here to admire you sitting between us just like that?? what goes wrong with people in love???'

RM narrating all the events that took place between 700hrs-1800hrs, which includes a warm welcome, a tight hug, booking a hotel room saying "We are couple"and that was the "High" (me thinks), some sweet-nothings, stroll to the ghats and nearby parks, gala lunch, back to the park, some coochy-cooing, an open-air discussion and to digest that extra calorie intake (here comes the twist) and finally, bidding that Bollywood style Goodbye.

well...to cut a long story short: What happened is, when they were sitting in the park coochy-cooing and were just trying to be cozy, as in a bit more cozy, as in so cozy that each other were feeling each other's breath, my RM saw some creepy creatures standing witness to their "sweet act" (sweet because not-so-adult and public distracting), and the creepy creature on witnessing the love birds, actually could not restrain itslef and witha strong desire to be a third party in the whole act started wriggling towards them...and when i say creepy, i mean creepy...i also mean crawling, i also mean wriggling.

Me: (on hearing this, jump off the bed...and animatedly screams) "WAT!!!"...and you were so near, i mean to "it"and not to "him"!!! and you are still alive????

RM: yes, (and goes into a bharatiya nari mode) yes, i was sitting there and to my dismay i saw him running away like a mad dog. (eyes almost red and moist)

me almost loosing sense, both on hearing the creepy story and on seeing the red eyes.

Me: Trying to ease the situation and all trying to console my RM for the *inappropriate* act that sjhe was subjected to..and i again come out with my smart opinion

Good that he ran away, you should have done the same, why were you sitting there...did you go cold?? i mean that would have been an awkward accident girl.

RM: Yes, it was awkward, i never thought he will run away leaving me in such a state. he could have atleast held my hands and then we both could have ran together.

Held my hands, ran together- Can real life be so filmy??? What did you expect??The wriggly creature intervenes and you sit there for someone lending you his hand???

My all enthusiam down the drain, as i see people consoling and my roomy in tears, well, some different thoughts running in my mind altogether: Man, all these bitches will leave and i will have to remain wide awake providing tissues??? Finally, as expected everyone leaves, and again i play the real good host bidding everyone good-bye and gesturing as if i will console her just in a second. Deep down only i know, how nervous i was...infact more than the roomy who went "cold" on seeing the wriggly creature.

Me: (Upfront) Look you should not worry and cry like this, i think (now i have to be articulate, i thought)..i mean...yes..i mean..wat he did was what we call "Respond to stimuli" but yes, he could have pulled you *your fat ass* along with.

She continues with her sob and tears, in all that bollywood style and after trying to console her for almost 15 mins, i give up and straight i shoot.

Look, if you think he shld have done according to wat you had expected and that gives you a feeling, that he is not "So-caring" a BOYFRIEND and that you have lost faith/trust..then speak to him about this and if he gives a shrug kind of an answer...give your "Globe-Trotting" relationship a CALL.

RM: Why do you have to jump to a black and white conclusion evrytime??? (RM: eyes big, tears gone, back to normal self.

Me: Jump into my bed and under the cover thinking, i should have given this dose long back to stop myself from getting so panicked.)

Next evening RM goes straight to the cyber cafe, gets him online and then scares the shit out of him by throwing words...emotional, sentimental, i loved you so much, i care for you so much and stuff and to my utter disbelief i heard her saying me "I gave HIM the DOSE, you gave me yesternight". :O

ME: ohh..okkk....as timidly as one can say...hope that worked....

RM: Yes Big time...

Circa 2005

Location: Kolkata

No special dress, a jeans and a kurta may be if not a t-shirt. (tsk..i dnt even remeber..how mean)

Setting: A couple sitting in one of the many parks in Kolkata.

and as it has to be...when you are seeing someone as a boyfriend..you need to do those coochy-cooing and sweet nothings..or else once again you "Did-not-do-as-expected".

and there we are...almost..kind of almost feeling each others breath and trying to feel more of it.may be... though i didnt spray any mouth freshner...but then love is not only blind it can take the sense out of you...

so almost close and then i think..when two human beings are so close, facially, its looks more feminine, i guess, to close your eyes, this is what i have learnt from Bollywood movies and Mills and Boon.

Me almost in the dilema of closing or not closing my eyes, i saw the pair of eyes in front of me opened and next moment i heard a scream...

yes, very obviously so, because moment i turn around i see a Black, standing on four feet, smelling of God-knows-what Buffalo...it was at a centimeter distance from me. Again when i look in front, i see a familiar face, who was almost at the same centimeter distance a few minutes back is standing miles away.

Me, the smart ass that i am, i start laughing uncontrollably...and finally, it sits beside me with a thump....

Luck and Fate, you are born with...

Not to say it, but just in case, for your reference: Till date i have not said this to my RM and i definitely dnt intend to say...cause then i will be hit with words which will faint me to death. Good that she is not here in the blogospehere....well, to hide from one, i said it to the world....

P.S: I do not intend to demean any of the people or the animals who played their interesting role in my life...never.

It's all in the Blood

2009-07-16T14:43:00.003+05:30

Past: Born and brought up in a joint family and in a place which was (in fact, is still)deprived of all the blessing and curse of a city...

Present: Trying to make a living in this ever changing and fleeting moments of a faster life, trying to match steps with all running on one of those tracks.

Reaction: I feel so good and proud, first that i have a treasure of such a serene, soothing childhood.

Second, Atleast i am getting to know and learn the art to face and fight the ever intruding changes to make a mark somewhere, if no where atleast to myself.

ok..from here i take a different route altogether. As it is, people in every walk of life get to meet people and trust me on this when i say, each and every one leaves a mark on your dairy in one way or the other..well that is on a bigger canvas, on a smaller canvas and from what i have heard about myself from different people and then when i think from where did i acquire all these traits..i make a note of these people who come to my mind..

In context to the past and present:

Acquired from Grandfather: Ability to remember dates. (birthday, anniversaries and just a combination of a day and month...) but that doesn't mean i scored well in History as a student.

Past: Remembered birthdays and anniversaries of all persons alive or dead in the family and of the over-extended family.

Present: I remember dates and days on the basis of my attendance in the office, if i am at the office, it means its a weekday, if not it means a weekend.

Acquired from Grandmother: The "Laughter"

Past: People could locate me anywhere from that loud giggling laughter and therefore my cousins never wanted me to be there in the team while playing "Hide and Seek".

Present: The "Laughter" still intact...at times to forget the stress and at times to be in that most important "i am still in sync". (basically a self consolatory thing)

Acquired from father: "Lost in my own world"

Past: Lost in my own world, i ended up doing several positive and productive things, which included "study". I never scored less than an 95% till std. VII.

Present: Which i think started may be after VII std., i end up thinking what and what not. but no positive result to it, often "lost in my own world" means a "Blank-head".

Acquired from mother: Hand-writing

Past: Till std. X, if not for anything i was the uncontested student when it came to hand-writing. Each and every teacher knew me and still remember me for my hand-writng.

Present: Thankyou Microsoft Office, you have left me with no option. Handwriting now means making the monthly grocery list...if someone else carries the list to the shop, they end up buying only half of the things mentioned in the list.

Acquired from Mejo-kaka(uncle): Spic and span

Past: If for anything, no one could raise finger at me for an untidy room, study table, dress..whatever

Present: Cleaning house is a weekly affair now.

Acquired from Sejo-kaka: Quiet and Calm

Past: Apart from the "laughter" if i was made to sit somewhere, one can find me in the same place even after hours. No screaming and shouting-but yes, this was an early childhood trait, it changed over the years. :D

Present: Ask me to sit in a place and blink...i am gone.. :D

Acquired from Choto-kaka: May be the "vocal-chord"

Past: I used to sing for myself when i was not sleepy and then gradually the song stopped and everybody knew i was in my dream land.

Present: I think my memory does a better job of remembering songs...i dnt know if at all my vocal-chord will do any more justice to music.

Well, these are 1 trait from each family members which came to my mind while typing...and all the aunts, may be i dnt have a blood tie with you poeple but you people were always there and have taught me things which my mother might have not succeeded in doing alone to this stubborn girl.

Thank you all for that wonderful childhood i have had.

Not that evrything was good in the past and everything is dark at present...but this was just like a snippet how life has changed and you know, past always looks better in yearn for a brighter future..naa!!!

High, Higher, Highest.....

2009-07-15T09:31:00.005+05:30

Way to my office..a small walking stretch from the main road...

A girl walking in front of me

The girl with shaky steps, looking around curiously, a bit hesitant, modest dressing says it all...

and there my "Judgemental Self" surfaced...few moments of observation...

Conclusion drawn..."New girl, first day in the nearby college"...

I walked past the girl...so me in front, the girl behind...

A voice from behind..."Are you a student of "The college name"???

Me looked behind..(at a loss of words, overwhelmed, the world appeared beautiful than ever, butterfly, me flying high)..answered with a 10,000 million dollar smile...(Value of the smile is underestimated here)..."No"....

*Flying High...higher.....*

Cloudy sky, jeans rolled up to the capri length and me flying highhhhhhhhhh....

Can i be happier????

:D :D :D

P.S: Completed Masters in the year 2005...

To My World...

2009-07-10T16:43:00.008+05:30

Ma and Baba,

I know you will never read this...never.. and even if you read you will consider it as trash as i think while typing..but i want to say something here...

Today, it's your 28th Marriage Anniversary....You and Baba look great together..yeah i know that's a cliched expression...but then truth is truth and limited for the way they are expressed...

You both have taught me to "Live"...I am proud of who you are to me...but and here on this note I start...

Ma&Baba:

Why do you go overboard when it comes to "Relatives"...why is it, that they expect you to visit their place everytime you are here in kolkata, irrespective of the reasons of your coming here, which primarily includes, Health reasons.

Why do they have to bother you so much with their fake botheration??? and again you get into that.... Ma&Baba: Health problem happens at any age and at any time and yes, offcourse there are ways to get well perfectly and soon.

I am really pissed off on this...i see your dressing style being influenced by some of "The Relatives"...Ma, i won't have bothered about it a bit if that would have been in a positive way..but Ma their choice SUCKS...and i just can't believe when you say the other piece in the shop was 150-200 rs. more than the shitty crap you have got, i know, it's just because you have "Their" consensus on buying it???..I am not accepting this....

To this let me tell you..your collection has gone way too drab, LS and uninteresting and this i am saying not because my choice have changed....i still love your earlier collection way more than the things that you have bought recently....this is getting sick MA....and i know...this is that "Evil-Influence" on you....

I have started loving you all the more for all your funny and non-sensical blabbering... then i realise the meaning of what "they" said.."Like mother, like daughter"... :D

Baba:

Yes, you have grown old..old enough to authoritatively lead a peaceful and non-hectic life... i know your operation had been painful, more than that your patience had been tried. when it came to physical concerns you were tied to certian limitations , ...but baba, you are fine now..absolutely fine...and you really need to enjoy these peaceful days...please Baba..dn't give up...this is the time to live and be happy...i know you have your own concerns and if i say today, "I am Here"..i know i am simply being modest and I know some thing goes well when it is conveyed without being "said".

Baba, i am still proud of your choice and collection and at times the way you dampen ma's enthusiasm to visit all those "Relatives's" place just to hear stories of pain and the following melodramas.

well, now a BIG point to be made:

I will get Married. To whom and when, i am as unsure and clueless as you are. okk...some of my reactions to my mother's over-used dialogues:

Yes, i have many friends...but no, i dn't have any "Special Friend".
I go to watch movies, shopping all alone and believe me no one accompanies me. If some does, they are all girls.
I drink coffee and "Liquor" with boys, YES....but believe me none of them have any intention to marry me and i respect their feeling.
Yes Ma, as you say, "I am pure waste in not managing to have a boyfriend after studying in a co-ed school and university". Well Ma, i take a chance here and say "The blooming days are in the college may be, and i wasted another three years of my life studying in a "Girl's College".
Yes Ma, i know i am short and fat, i eat too much and therefore no one will marry me, and more if i continue eating rice four times a day... :D
And please do not go by "The Relatives" consensus while choosing the "Man" for me... "your relatives" might like him...but...
i know "you have not many but only one child...and to see her happy is what you wish"...but for that do not rely on me..i cannot make you happy on that..you take the initiative and you will be happier"... :P

okk..enough of complains....but may be i am the happiest person to have you as my parents, for the way you people have allowed me to be whatever i am, for teaching me the ways to face the world, though silently, for agreeing to what was good and disagreeing to what was not so good.

and last but not the least...after all these years of staying in two different and far away cities, i have still not come to terms with bidding you the good-bye while seeing you off on your journey to the home-town...i still feel bad and sad...but again may be you never taught me to be "weak" and have taught me to accept the reality and the practical norms as it were and that too with a smile...

I always love the way you appreciate any thing and everything i give you and the smile on getting those bouquet of red and white flowers...thats what you both are to me..."Love" and "Peace"....

Love you ..be the way you are forever... :D

NOT a Review .. :D

2009-07-01T09:10:00.012+05:30

I anticipated with bated breath after watching the trailor in some PVR in mumbai, when i went to watch a heart-breakingly disgusting YRF production sometimes in December. well, but with the cast shown in the trailor, i was not expecting much. Well, but of late i heard and read much about this movie. SO after a much-much long wait to visit those dark theaters (well i will definitely speak of my movie jaunts sometime later), this was the movie i chose to watch....(no prize for guessing..NewYork).

These YRF people know how to woo and teach their audience, at the least. The way they have their title card and crew list come on to the screen and the background portrayed, it really kind of prepare you mentally to expect "what" and "what-not". I really loved the helicopter-shot and the way they introduced the more-prominent protagonist of the film...the CITY in itself!! Even if some one goes to watch this movie without watching the trailor or having an iota about what this film deals with(which is impossible in today's world of striking and screaming publicity), they can atleast get a hint from the moment the screen becomes the director's and cinematographer's canvas.

Well, no point to debate on the subject chosen..yes much debated and conversationized subject that the 9/11 topic is, needless to say director Kabir Khan have done a real good job with a difference in it. Of much watched and said, a very few can actually think of making a film out of a sub-topic which remains almost under cover or not-so-much-discussed. (Having said that, yes, the sub-topic was also not unique but dealing it in the way it has been dealt...it's good).

But people, you are going to watch a YRF production without expecting something mushy and "love-able"..then you didn't follow the trend of the productions catering to your entertainment zing since a few decades now.

And i can bet on the reason if people say they 'didn't like the movie'. I know, films, if only for entertainment and a medium to help us relax, we will definitely give the film a few more brownie-points, if, it satiates the most coveted and wished dream of "... and they lived happily ever after". Digression is even accepted in real world but when it comes to a fantasy land, it is expected the way, we have read and heard it from all the story tellers.

Overall, a good film and a good time chosen to release the film, (one more point, where YRF tops the list of all other prodction houses, that's where the "wooing" audience becomes more evident).

Katrina Kaif acted..ohh really!!!...Neil Nitin Mukesh, sure has it in him, needs much much more exposure, John Abraham doubtlessly is modest enough to say "I learn from every films i do"..he is learning it really and the graph always rose higher with each release.

Well, you can always go and watch this movie in the theater...the film can also save on your budget of popcorn and coke..as it will keep you engaged and you wont need to munch in order to pass the dark hours.

After watching this movie, my reactions:

1) As always, my love and respect for the YRF remains intact..inspite of some trauma-drama that they accidentally end up making.

2) John..i like him...well...i am not a blind woman to overlook his well shaped physique.

3) Katrina kaif is fine...i am too stubborn to appreciate someone i dnt like...well...i still recognize her for the near-good job that she has done...

4) Pritam undoubtedly has done an excellent work....KK, Mohit Chauhan..everyone is commendable

5) Irfan Khan....words are not sufficient to appreciate his talent.

6) Last but notttt the leasttt......."LOVE U...NEEEEEEIIIIIILLLLL..."..

The Zillionaire Tag

2009-06-23T09:07:00.008+05:30

Ohhh....i am zillion times happy for the BIG ZILLION DUDE tagging me for the first time ever in my entire span here at blogosphere.....

even then, i am such a bitch that happiness can never overshadow my list of things that drives me crazy!!!!

1) Lack of Basic Etiquettes : Here i would like to give a special mention to the so-called "feminists", where they take immense pride in having a "Ladies Seat/Compartments" in the public transports but lacks the manner of making place or leaving the seat for some elderly man/woman, pregnant women and handicaps. Here i only want to make this point clear that if you think you are a "Femine-ist" try practising some "Humanity" first and then only will your feminism get elated without even getting a special mention an you can rise much higher even without a quota/special seat being alloted to you.

Well, having said that there are many other areas where people lack the most basic etiquette.

2) Lack of A Proper Dressing Sense: Believe me, your personality speaks all about what you are and who you are. Talking about personlaity, your appearance does matter...yes, trust me it does...but guys, before you raise your brows...you know wat...for a proper dressing sense we can always do with/out designer labels. what one needs to have a proper dressing sense means knowing what suits you the best and when "suiting" comes into the picture dresses with the "right" fit needs a special mention. Wear stuff in which you feel most comfortable and let the world feel comfortable on seeing you. if you oggle at some divas for the way they look, believe its not because of what they are wearing but how they are wearinga nd the way they are carrying it...to have a proper dress you need not spend fortunes...the regular/basic if worn perfectly does the job brilliantly. And same goes with accessorizing what you are wearing.

3) People YELLING to make a point: Guys don't shout...raising your tone and getting a cracked voice will never ever help you to make your point ...you can make your point in a whisper...but remember your "point" has to be strong and practical enough to be heard.

4) Insensitive people and people taking things for GRANTED: Why man!!!...if some one cares for you..why do you feel giving it back will cost you a fortune!!! you never took a back seat in hitting someone when they had hit you...so what pain does it take to say "You Care"!!!...Get that into your gesture...that will only help you ...and will never demean your royal existence.

5) People not respecting their service provider (milk man, newspaper wala, maids and all of them): Hey dude...remember if you could have done all that by yourself...you wouldn't have needed them. Just because you can't, you need them...so respect what they do and foremost..respect for who they are.

6)Bad Music and Bad Films : Trust me, with technical and technological advances that we have today, its really difficult to churn out the best of the least creative-genius you have in you. With the unparalled seven notes we have and the ability to hear, its really really difficult to go wrong here. Similarly, with the numerous events that we see, hear or exprience in our daily lives, its really difficult to make a bad story out of it... yes, for the technical parts there are trained people to help you out where you get stuck , but before that organizing your thought process is up to you and really no can help you on that....its you out there and only you...Try to proove yourself with the best that you can deliver with the least that you have ..there in you stand the "Genius".

7) Untidy rooms/home: Have you heard, "Home is where the Heart is"..yes, so the point well raised is that "My heart can dwell in the filthiest of place"....but take a note that is a point different all together...when you come back after your day's tiring activity, doesn't it look good to see a place welcoming you with all its warmth!!! Man, you are born here on the beautiful "Earth", which sure is a place envied by all other planets....so here on earth, where you get a place all for yourself...make it as beautiful as the bigger canvas. Believe me, this is a job which takes nothing...just a heart...and you get a "Home"...

8) Bad odour: Silence...Please get a "Deo" and a "Mouthwash", in your next shopping spree. Soap, toothpaste and toothbrush, if is already there..then start USING it.

9)Pessimists: Why CAN'T that happen!!!!!.....that will....you are the one who will make it happen..you have it in you to make it happen... try once...just once...

10) okk...the craziest thing ever...."The Confession" , that i am going to write after all the blabberings...it's not that i have practised it always the way i have described it here...but yes..above described are the ways i would love to see and practise....having said that...i would also like to say, that the moment i have deviated from any of the aforementioned paths..i have taken time to sit and analyse and wherever i have realised that i was wrong...i have tried to mend my ways....So things being repeatedly done without a proper "Realization", takes you no-where...analyse what you do...dont do things blind-foldedly.

okk..so here i finish...and after a week's time from when i was tagged. I pass it on to

Pallavi
Sarmistha
Amrita
Priyanka

and all those who want to take it....

You know wat...i appreciate these tags, and more when i am further tagging people, because i think there doesn't exist a more modest way to intrude into people's life!!!! taaging people with some personal question is like a sugar coated anti-biotic capsule....people (atleast like me) initially forget the trauma of unwrapping themselves in public....hey , i like that....Yooohooooo....

Take it on guys...be a sport.. :D:D

Rules: you have to link the one who has tagged you and further if you are tagging someone, plz link the person's blog also.

The Unseen

2009-06-18T08:57:00.012+05:30

Well, to start with the weird thoughts have not left me yet, but who cares...the more they get attention the more they sit on you. So let things be as it is and i should take a step more to explore the unseen and unknown...

Results of a few daily and "crappy" observation:

Sunglasses: Offcourse and obviously protecting the eyes from the glare

of the sun is the responsibility that this accessory is assigned with. Informally, it also helps the social animal in carrying on with many more glaring activities in an unhindered way for sure, and for this informal set of jobs , i will definitely give "Sunglass" its due respect and recognition.

Now, thanks to the 70s Bollywood Style that has again stepped into the fashion arena. Just a basic blue jeans and a white t-shirt (obviously, timeless and the smartest combination that one can think of) with its inherent simplicity, when accessorized with the 70s Bollywoood Style oversized sunglass, it is sure to turn a few heads in appreciation.

Ok, so a few cases :

1. You (male/female) wearing a sunglass can consistently admire some beauty or hunk sitting at the table opposite yours in some cafe and you can afford to do it safely without the other person having an idea that s/he is being appreciated/stared at. (offcourse with admiration)

Case1: Sunglass as a protective sheet

2. Safeguards some admirer(male/female) from unneccessary verbal or emotional blows from their over-possessive girlfriends and boyfriends while constantly staring at some beauty/dude in situation similar as the above one.

Case 2: Sunglass dearer than a nagging person.

3. Some one without a sunglass is following you, or just trying to gain your attention in a crowded scape, and you want to react on getting a hint of that. In such cases you can actually react in several and safer ways if you are wearing a sunglass.

3.a. You can observe the person more minutely if you are wearing a sunglass where the person is not even getting a hint of your attention:

3.a.i If the observer here is not much worth, you can continue putting on airs with your sunglass either positioned on the face or head.

3.a.ii You can just take off your sunglass in style and give a hard stare to keep the meandering person at bay.

3.a.iii In such cases or with minor diversification sunglasses also helps to carry forward the message of "I am least interested and in an "Ignoring" mode", right across to the nagger.

4. You can actually observe the world around minutely with your sunglasses on. Elements to be observed and be-careful-of can include "someone" to "something". You can actually take a note of " how one looks" or " how one looks at you".

5. In some unfortunate cases, suppose you are out on a picnic and eventually company of a few underestimates the meaning of the word "BORE", then and exactly there you can strect yourself on the green lawn as if admiring the nature and can actually go into a short but peaceful nap.

I am sure there are a lot more, so you people can feel free to give your ideas and elate the invention of such an important and helpful accessory.

I only hope, no "glare-brand" glares at this post and on your comments, or else the prices of this under-estimated accessory will have an financial upsurge in this unavoidable recession-ized market.

photo courtesy: http://images.paraorkut.com/img/pics/images/s/sunglasses-12215.jpg

Weird

2009-06-15T09:34:00.004+05:30

Something is wrong....something is bothering me...i am restless...

But not getting to figure out exactly wat it is... :(

The Saturday Jaunt

2009-06-01T10:58:00.009+05:30

Again one of those phases where life seems lifeless. Honestly, i'm a bit restless these days, some weird thoughts are always there to capture my peace of mind...as usual...reasons and causes of all these remains unindentified.

But one cannot deny some good things that come down your way amidst the mist of uncertainty and restlessness. So here goes the story....

Saturday: Was a bit irritated on the fact that i had to come to the office because of the "prelude" to Aila* that struck Kolkata on Monday. So after spending "a-not-much-productive" day in the office, when i was leaving for home in the evening, right on time "U" called me to join him at the "Lake Road Barista", our almost-everyday hangout". On reaching there, I was a nagging bitch as ever and requested him to take me to his place, so that i can have a more meaningful and almost ending weekend with "U - The red-bearded man" and "A- The red-haired mohila", with endless nibbling and drinking (not necessarily liquor) and chatting all through the night...well, called "The red-haired mohila" to know, whether i will be a pain at all the possible wrong places if i go down to their place for the night..as usual she "sounded" pretty much enthusiastic about my going to their place "BUT" as she was visiting her friend and with plans of "The red-bearded man" joining them meant he was not going home directly from "Barista". But as it was...i was left to decide whether i have a problem to visit "A's friend's house before crashing at A-U's place"!!!....with my rounds of "drama", A+U convinced me that it will be just fine and their friends won't mind my evil presence. So there i was "Hangla" as ever to hang around, reached "R's-The awesome driver" place...seated there were A, R, "S- a bit overexcited" and U and Myself joining them...puzzled i was to see them playing "Ludo". Well, the game had to stop with a winner and two looser...next on the card was "cards"...played quite a few rounds and was almost shocked to see the clock striking 11..."OMG..am i still not hungry!!!"....but as it was...U had strictly directed me not to say a single word related to "food" and "drink"..as directed i was even suppose to visit the "Loo" only after asking and only if approved of the same. I did as directed.

So i was "A Good Girl".

Well...the story doesn't end here...the actual fun when i bounced with a YAHOOOOOO was the moment when "R" casually said that we should go for a dinner somewhere and then a long drive.....oooohhhhh....nothing more i could have asked for then and there....this time it was my turn to look down upon U as my deepest desire and dream was coming true in just a few minutes time...

We went out at around 12, after playing cards, loosing, winning, drinking and smoking (needless to mention "R- The awesome driver" he didnt smoke a single puff and didnt drink a single gulp). but we decided to have food first and then taking on "The high of the day".

We were at Jai Hind Dhaba...food was awesome, though it was served a bit late (Tandoori roti, mutton kosha, mutton korma, dahi chicken, anda bhujji, green salad, rice, corn and palak sabji, daal)...Food was obviously good but what took my span of attention was a White Mercedes Benz. GOD...that was orgasmic...and i think i am just going lucky these days...today while coming to the office i saw a black of the same species...

We went out for the drive at around 1, took lansdowne, AJC Bose Road..straight and off to the Vidya sagar setu, Kona Express way, Bally connector and then back....starry sky, wind blowing past, wide roads, silent night, good music and needless to say a careful and alert person on the wheels to drive you through the experience...(R needs a special mention for the way he drove)...

Then as expected...at U and A's place...an unending adda...lyadh, and me peacefully going off to sleep lying between U and A...yahahahahha...."infringing the private domain"all together...... :D:D:D

Neways...it was fun...and i enjoyed it to the core....i could have asked nothing more.

*It was on Monday, that "Aila" struck Kolkata and the metropolitan city was not prepared enough to deal with the unseen but some-what expected massacre. At around 2 p.m. the day was called off in the office..so i was more than happy to get drenched and hopp around the street and announce about the arriving of the "buses" to my colleagues standing under the shade. Needless to say, the weather looked just fine with proper conveyance provided to reach home and then without "electricity, cable network and water supply" faliure...i was among the lucky one to spend an evening without having to think much about "How devastating Nature can be when in fury"!!..My heart goes out for one and all who faced some irreparable loss..well, shameful to say, i did nothing to help the victims out of the devastating situation as one of my fellow blogger did.

Those Sunday Afternoon

2009-05-15T09:25:00.006+05:30

Another Friday and then weekend...a Hurray....Saturday and Sunday....wow...two days...48 hours...no routine....be as you want to be....do what you want to do....

Today all of a sudden, memories of by-gone saturdays and sundays came to my mind....I was born and brought up in Daltonganj, Palamau, now in Jharkhand. A land to which bengalis (west-Bengal) can well relate to. The *(in)famous jungles (Betla Forest), pleasant weather, sparkling river(Koel), the red, sticky mud, scent of the mohua trees and flowers, beautiful sceneries and all that which nature could bestow to make a land look like a Queen.

Sundays till 2000 :-

We (cousins) used to wait for the sundays impatiently, the weekdays didn't pass by as it passes by today, saturdays never appeared in a blink after the routined home-office journeys from mondays to fridays. Saturdays, although, we had our "half-day" at school but that heightened the exitement for the weekend sojourn that started there-after.

Back from school at around 11, and during the summer, our afternoon activities didn't leave a single green mangoes on the trees. Some tried plucking mangoes by throwing stones and some technically superior mates used "Gulti" to get a sure shot at the desired target. For people who belonged to my category, plucking mangoes was easier as we could afford to select the most "fruit-full" branch of the tree, and therefore, choosing and getting the best among the lot was just about taking the risk to climb safe and thereafter the descending from the tree with bruised legs were not much to ponder over. We had a loyal company in this venture, "Jimmy" who would guard each tree from any tresspassers (sabji-waali, gowala to be specific) all round the week. The task of collecting the mangoes and then distributing among some younger cousins (cousins who were too small to climb or make a shot but stood under the tree with unfailing eagerness and enthusiasm) was more of a "responsible and elderly task". The mangoes were kept in the jhoori and would be left peaceful for the next day "EVENT".

The next day event would start in the late afternoon after having the dleicious "MANGSHO_BHAAT" for lunch and thereafter when parents and all elder members of the family drooled in the ecstacy of a summer afternoon nap, we cousins would take the charge of the "Ranna-ghor (kitchen) and the "Bhanrar-ghor"(store). The elder cousins took the task of peeling and cutting the mangoes and the younger ran to and fro the ranna ghor and bhnarar ghor to bring in the ingredients to prepare the most awaited finger-licking mango preparation. Ingredients to be brought in to prepare the juiciest of "aam-er chaat" included salt, red-chilly powder, Turmeric powder, tamarind (paste) and all that to make the preparation tasty and mouth-watering.

It was almost 4 by the time our Mango-chatka session got over and then we would sit near the main door under the stair and keep our ears open to a sound which yelled "KUUUUUUULFIIIIIIII Malai"....moment we heard this voice, all with our gathered pocket money, (which was a maximum of 20 rs. gathered from 7 cousins.) we would silently open the door and call the Kulfi-chacha. 20 rs. would get us 4 kulfis as big as the largest cornetto that we get today. The Kulfi-mania was not supposed to be carried on for long as we did this hiddenly. (except for a few days when all the family members would get up to treat themself with one, that was undoubtedly a party affair with 15 members smacking the huge KULFI).

Then at around 5.30-6 was the most awaited and dependent affair. we used to sit hurled in the garden, below the favourite "Gulab-khas" mango tree as it had a bench under it, or some smarter fellow would just run to help "dadabhai or chorda" clean the PRIDE of the town, "A Hoodless Left-hand drive Jeep". The expression on each one of our face while sitting under the tree, was so innocent and a smile so priceless that anyone would die for. At that moment if chorda or dadabhai would have asked us to jump into a well...me think, we would have done so....Needless to say, ALL this for a trip to the "Betla Forest". A 20 km. (25 mins.ride- for the winding and pebbeled road) long ride, would take us to that paradise and then half an hour of pure fun with the monkeys, deer, peacocks, elephants and if luckier, would get an hour long elephant ride into the deep and dark forest with a halogen held overhead.

Ride back home, on the way, chorda/dadabhai would treat us with gorom jilipi and singara at their favourite Chianki bus-stop and then carry a plastic or two of singara and jilipi for the rest of the family members.

The days ended and we slipped into the dream destination only to reluctantly open our eyes in the morning to wait for the week to pass by and again the SATURDAY and SUNDAY to come fast.

*(in)famous jungles (Betla Forest): I say so because now it is really risky to visit the jungle after the sun set. children there no more get a chance to visit the paradise so frequently. the place is unsafe for both the localites and the tourists after a certain time of the day.

Fat, Fatter, Fattest...Fart

2009-05-08T06:41:00.002+05:30

Its not that these things are new to me...but still i find it difficult to get along...

Being optimistic always doesn't help...need to accept the fact...

I know its bad rather sad to see things turning up in a certain way...but...

Fart..Crap....

I am putting on with every passing seconds nowadays. Believe me...

Nothing seems to be of any help...30 minutes of swimming, trying to avoid my favourite "bhaat", trying not to stare at the gamla full of rosogolla, trying not to go to that "sinful" Barista..even if...sticking to iced lemon tea, a full-stop on drinking....

I am tired...I am giving up...almost....a few more days..and i am sure i will give up... :(..

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO..i can't........

Is it Thyroid, Uric Acid, AGE, being Hangla and Petuk, lack of self control and determination??????????? WAT IS IT??????????

I look HUGEEEEE (girth-wise)...because i am not even the exact 5" and i weigh tonssssss.............more than HUGE, its like "A clad BALL rolling"....

Notun

2009-04-16T10:25:00.002+05:30

Notun Bochor...

Notun Jama...

Notun Fol...

Notun Roop...

Notun Rong...

Notun Bhabna...

Notun swopno...

Notun Asha...

shob sundor...shob bhalo...

Notun bochor sobar katuk aanonde...ahlhade...bhalobeshe...bhalo theke....

Notun bochore sobbai ke janai onek onek shubhechcha....

what...if!!!

2009-04-08T19:01:00.001+05:30

1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be? If is not applicable

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be? I have people around with whom I want to b with and all together having fun

3. Whose butt would you like to kick? My own…:O

4. What would you do with a billion dollars? Give up working, travel all around the world, will try to make my parents the happiest with whatever money can do

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend? I think no

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone? Being loved by someone

7. How long would you wait for someone you loved? I dnt know..forever is a word equally vague and clueless

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do? Person who I secretly like is not attached to me…and if ever is attached to someone else…I will cry my heart out and with time, I am sure I will get going…

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be? Anything for animal and nature

10. What takes you down the fastest? People trying to avoid me by telling lies…

11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? In the same old and boring rut

12. What’s your fear? Betrayal, denial, loneliness, fact that people I care for are mortals

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? No one tags me..no one tagged me..i stole this from one blog.. :P

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor? Married and rich…single and rich…money is important

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Run to the loo.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick? The one I will love more

17. Would you give all in a relationship? Most of it

18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done? Forgive maybe, but will never forget

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? A relationship may b…but the person has to understand me thoroughly…or else I am happy single…

???!!!

2009-04-08T18:59:00.001+05:30

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Sometime this month

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I liked..its been long that I have written something on paper.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Mutton.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No..

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I think I would be….

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Often.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I will love

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Corn flakes

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I need to...

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Ice-creammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm is the word to give me a high

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Feet... :P

14. RED OR PINK? Red

15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Fat

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Dida.

17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? If they have time..yes

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING ? Blue Jeans, grey and p[ink Floaters

19. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Pink.

20. FAVORITE SMELLS? Anything soothing

21. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I copy pasted from a blog…I like myself…only at times..bouts of hatred surface out.

22. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Swimming.

23. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope.

24. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Dnt remember..some bullshit on some TV channel.

25. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White tee

26. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer and Winter for reasons different and unique.

27. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? some blogs….

28. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Dnt have one.

29. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Some serial..with mute on.

30. FAVORITE SOUND(S). Water dripping.

31. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Rolling Stones.

32. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Maharashtra

33. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yes..to suspect things and then see them turning true.

34. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a nursing home in Konnagar, Kolkata.

35. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Day I get to meet the real one…i will update this answer.

Questioning the Self

2009-04-08T18:55:00.001+05:30

LAST:
1. Last beverage → Fresh Lime Soda, sweet.
2. Last phone call → Sharmistha
3. Last text message → Kritika.
4. Last song you listened to → Umbrella
5. Last time you cried → Sometime last week

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → Never
7. Been cheated on → yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it → No.
9. Lost someone special → Yes.
10. Been depressed → Yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up → Never.

HAVE YOU:
12. Made new friends → Yes.
13. Fallen out of love → No.
14. Laughed until you cried → often.
15. Met someone who changed you → Yes.
16. Found out who your true friends were → Yes, I think.
17. Found out someone was talking about you → Yes.
18. Kissed anyone on your friend's list → Yes.
19. Made the first Move → No.
20. Do you have any pets → Not at present.
21. Do you want to change your name → No.
22. What did you do for your last birthday → Spent with my friends at the office.
23. What time did you wake up today → 5.30 AM.
24. What were you doing at midnight last night → Sleeping.
25. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Good things.
26. Last time you saw your father → 22nd February 2009
27. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → Depression.
28. Most visited webpage → http://www.google.com/
29. What's your name → Supriya.
30. Nicknames → Priya, Timo, Moti, Genjo, Panu.
31. Zodiac sign → Sagitarrius.
32. Male or female or transgendered → Female.
33. Elementary → St. Mary’s.
34. Schools → Sacred Heart.
35. Colleges → Banaras Hindu University, Jadavpur University.
36. Hair color → Black
37. Long or short → Short.
38. Height → 5'
39. Do you have a crush on someone? → Not really sure..i think NO.
40. Ever been in love → Yes.
41. Piercings → yes.
42. Tattoos → No.
43. Righty or lefty → Righty.

FIRSTS :
44. First piercing → Ear piercing when I was in std.III.
45. First best friends → Deepti.
46. First sport you joined → Basketball
47. First pet → Tomy.
48. First vacation → Darjeeling.
49. First concert → Birju Maharaj Concert.
50. First crush → Don’t Remember.
51. Eating → I am a big foodie.
52. Drinking → Often.
53. I'm about to → Loose hope.
54. Listening to → sound of the keyboard, colleagues talking over the phone

YOUR FUTURE :
55. Want kids → :O..yes ..may b
56. Want to get married → Yes, I think…but….
57. Careers in mind → Ambitionless..enjoying what I am doing rite now.
58. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
59. Hugs or kisses → hugs primarily, kiss-secondarily.
60. Shorter or taller → Taller.
61. Older or Younger → Younger.
62. Romantic or spontaneous → Neither, I guess.
63. Nice stomach or nice arms → Nice stomach
64. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
65. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
66. Trouble maker or hesitant → Neither.

HAVE YOU EVER :
67. Kissed a stranger → No.
68. Lost glasses/contacts → no, I dnt have 1.
69. Sex on first date → Never.
70. Broken someone's heart → I think..NO.
71. Had your own heart broken → Yes.
72. Been arrested → No.
73. Turned someone down → Yes.
74. Cried when someone died → Yes.
75. Liked a friend that is a girl → Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
76. Yourself → Partly.
77. Miracles → Happen.
78. Love at first sight → I think is a bit story like concept
79. Heaven → Blue Sky, Peace.
80. Santa Clause → Light in the Dark.
81. Peace in this lifetime → Not sure..really
82. Angels → Miracle.
83. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Yes..No…May b.
84. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time in the past → Never.
85. You will die Young → I wish.
86. You will end with the one you love and learn to love the one you are with → end with the one i love... but kind of a dream

Me they said...

2009-03-27T10:22:00.001+05:30

Well..i took a personality test on similarminds.com and this was interpreted about my personality from my answers to their question.

Stability 56%, results were moderately high, which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness 60%, were moderately high, which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion 30%, were low, which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Trait snapshot:
Clean, secretive, does not make friends easily, observer, hates large parties, risk averse, perfectionist, reclusive, solitude loving, more practical than abstract, does not like to stand out, high self control, intellectual, mind over heart, very cautious, takes precautions, respects authority, irritable, emotionally sensitive

Somehow i am happy with the result...i have marked their accuracy too.....:P

A Closed Sphere

2009-03-24T22:51:00.001+05:30

A random post...definitely inspired by some of the blogs that i follow...but yes on reading those posts i realised some where down even i feel the same ..i needed a much pressured drive to let my expressions and thoughts take textual shape...

Some way i feel, we have become more complaining and we take immense pleasure in blaming what we see and others do.

Some way i feel, we do not bother to learn from the experience we gain...no matter how small or big the events are to teach us a small but valuable lesson.

Some way i feel, we do not walk...we prefer running like dogs and then give up just the moment we feel tired.

Some way i feel, we have lost the sensibility and sensitivity to take notice of anything that we come across.

Some way i feel, we are always in a hurry to jump to the next rather giving due importance to the present, moment "the next" become "present" we take it for granted.

Some way i feel, we are no more surprised or hesitated to see the unknown and unseen.

Some way i feel, we think that the world is flat and what is gone has just passed away.

But...unfortunately if we keep on deriving pleasure from all the above, the world, rather we will make ourself realise that its "round" and this will be taught in a harsher way.....

There is a need to be afraid of, to observe, to love, to give it a due importance, to ponder and to hold on to...

Shades

2009-03-19T21:52:00.001+05:30

soru r soru nei, or gonf er sathe dari o hoyeche, nadu ekhon naduer hoye geche-or o dari hoyeche, utsav er chosma-r frame ebong phone palte geche, amar kopal bodhoy choto hoye geche, jhola r kaner duul ta ekhono ache bakshobondi....r gotor ta berei choleche.......

oioioioioi

2009-02-27T09:41:00.001+05:30

aaahhhh..no not willing........some other time may be....:D

Bombing Applaud...

2009-02-25T09:39:00.001+05:30

Oh for sure i am happy with that OSCAR being awarded to a film which has a hindi print specially for India (country where it has been shot..remember...where do u get such "GLORIFIED and GLAMORORUS Slum!!!!!!!!)...:O

For sure i am happy about the fact that the slack in tourism that India experienced after the infamous 26th November, 2008 terrorist attack in Mumbai will revive on a greater deal with all rucksackers visiting Mumbai to learn more about "How Dharavi looks like??!!!!"...

For sure i am happy about the fact that A.R.Rehman, who has been at his best everytime he has touched that keypad, got some kind of a global recognition. (So the list by which India was known comprised of POVERTY, Taj Mahal, Mahatma Gandhi, Elephants and the Colonial country has one more added to the list....)

Well...should i say i am ashamed of the fact that i have not seen the movie!!!!, ......well...i can do nothing much about it because i fail to follow the language when it has to be heard and seen at the same time on-screen.

Neways....but sad i am for the people who are not getting the point that the film is a hollywood film and only has a hindi version like any other Titanic which received some 11 OSCARS...am i rite!!!.....for sure this film will be on air sooner or later on occassion of may be Holi or Diwali, so then may be i can watch it...although the hindi version. (A celebration in itself, man!!!!)

Neways..good for us....good for the "OBAMA lovers/ worshippers residing in our country, state, city, streets, cafes and Home... trying to mug up OBAMA's swearing speech....BTW...who is India's president???...come on man...they know who s/he is!!!!

Shake a country with bombs and then applauds....interesting.....it's all about SOUND....!!!!

Marathon

2009-02-20T16:42:00.001+05:30

i think i will get up at 4.....to reach the venue at 5..A.M...:O
i think i will run the stretch...4.2 K.M
i think i will......
...........will
..........i
....think
.."I"

........I........WILL??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....................will i???????????
:O:O:O

P.S. - (updated) I reached..but cldn't run..i was hungry..:P:P

How to maintain a stable economy!!!!??

2009-02-17T09:51:00.001+05:30

I hope not, stalwarts like Amartya Sen and Manmohan Singh gets a voyeuristic pleasure out of reading this esteemed blog of mine....therefore...i do take the audacity to name the post as it is and blabber out some of my ideas...

Hey...for all you know.....ok!!!...do you know whether manmohan singh is a proud father of a son or not!!!..well...i have to take chances because every bengali knows that Amartya's daughter has taken a deep plunge into that obscene world of cinema and do not have any brother...:(:(....so i mind not if the two satlwarts read my blog.....

So here i go.....

we work..dark it is... u said...

well lit....now clear..We work..wat no. of people less...ok wait

ok..now c..i work

he too works

pressure lessened....

pressure lessened..2

cn we hve some food..

yes we should

we work..we eat

we still eat

food makes our tummy happy

we should exercise after that hvy dose of food

yes we should..exercise hard

tired.....after work, food and exercise...a tough day..days...

Hey....one still missing...!!!!!

okk....he was busy shopping.....
:D:D

UCK...a tussle between L and F

2009-02-02T10:57:00.002+05:30

Well...of my innumerous sojourn to the movie halls on weekends often give me the feed for posting something or the other...it's not only about watching movies and then writing a kind of review...its also about observing everything and evryone around...

Yesterday i went to watch this film, "Luck By Chance"...first, if it is marked as a "Blockbuster Hit"..believe me, that will be again a hype as was created before the release of the film and that will be a "Luck By Chance" factor for the film itself....No personal vengeance...

But yeah..i mean lot of stuff like being a struggler, making friends and girl friend in a new city, often than not..the girlfriend is obviously so because she is the only believer in the struggler's talent and potentials, finally a surprise call from "No-Where" and being the protagonist that you are, offcourse the star shines bright on him among some "uncountable" number of people standing in the queue...and finally, obviously he has to make it and he makes it with no side role, no sidey role, no second lead role or such crap...to the TOP...the protagonist have all in him...acting talent, PR talent, wooing-mother-and-daughter talent and everything you need to be some Shahrukh Khan.

So Luck being at place and not by chance but sheer capability of wooing mother first and then daughter, you are there to shoot on some outdoor location for the first film and your girlfriend arrives at the venue to give a pleasanr surprise from her side which turns out to be unfair on the protagonist's part for the fact that he is already on a newer trip of unrevealing the surprises that his co-star is there to offer both emotionally and physically.

Neways..i intend not to write more on the story line of the film if i can spend 170 bucks for a crap i am not much interested in bugging you guys at the cost of it.

Well..sadly, i bought a ticket not from the counter instead from one who was willing to sell an extra ticket..it was later i realised that how Lucky the concerned person would have been in whose place i was sitting.

So, buying ticket not from the counter had cost me to say good-bye to the limited amount of cash i had and therefore after such a trauma i couldn't even treat or console myself with some popcorns and a coke....

So in a package it was a bad film with nothing to claim myself as "Lucky".

:O

2009-01-30T10:47:00.001+05:30

No..not feeling like writing now ....will give it a try later...

But i would like to thank pantaloons for showcasing oversized apparels..i got not one...but 5...that too during the season end sale ......

I am happy....:D

The S Factor!!

2009-01-24T12:17:00.001+05:30

Smoke after sex or sex after smoke????????????

sexy smoke or smokey sex???????

please come out of the bed and send in your opinions ........Quite an easy poll and a modest one......

KNOTS

2009-01-23T10:28:00.001+05:30

simply irritated.......now if that is a perennial state that i am in, i really cannot help...

ppl r getting married at lightning speed, the rate of getting married it seems has left behind the rate of population growth....well, now obviously, these duo's after certain time will definitely join the league of the mass adding to the population as a testimony of their LOVE for each other....if its not only about MAKING things fall apart.....neways, crap as i write.....

........but reason for my irritation is the role that i am playing in the so called pious act....

1) Travel: You travel a hellish distance (having said that i realise may be hell is nearer as i get to catch a sight of the same every day) every weekend to reach the venue on time....mode of transport...obviously some public motor vehicle ......

2) Reach: U reach the venue to discover that there are a lot many people standing either to welcome you heartily, (now i dnt think every one is as good an actor, so i take it as a genuine gesture) or u discover someone standing at a faraway corner who is planning to leave becuase u have arrived or the other way round, i.e, u dnt think it to b a pain to travel all the way back the moment u have landed or reached the venue on seeing that person standing at a corner.

3) Presence: the most difficult task, (at times, when in such a situation, i think, solving arithmetic was lot more easier), you have to continuously sport that realistic fakingly fake smile...and then people who are just about to face that middle-age crisis disaster will rub their hand all over your well done hair-do, even if it is not well done, how does it matter man)...and the next moment you see yourself in the mirror to discover as if your head was borrowed to play some bird's nest.

4) Food: look man coming dwn to the point, well going to a weding if means conveying a grand wish for the future marriage life, well i think i do that even if not verbally......but my well being is something that matters to me the most and therefore FOOD, is something that i look upto with all positive anticipation.......frankly, after that journey, smile, hairdo and stuff...if you dnt get a reward only with good food, i think all my effort went in vain.........

neways......so ppl whoever it is, if i am called at your wedding , plz one and only one request, plz feed me with dishes that would finally meake mt utter the words :HAVE A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE".....

JLTs...

2009-01-09T21:58:00.003+05:30

Hehehhe...again..JLT......

well, i have one reason....posting one from this comp for the first time...

well..yet another one....not to forget had a week worth it..after ages...may be mentally its "ages"......in reality had such lazy, drooling weeks even in the recent past but the charm of those weeks were spoilt for the reason that i had to wake up early and go to the place called "Office".....

As i am in kolkata after 3 months...met all those people whom i missed a lot...well yes..missed them...didnt meet a few offcourse...will meet them soon....

Now that i didnt have to go to any offcie or such crapy place, effortlessly, i woke up at around 8-8.30 a.m, (will have to do it with great effort from the coming week).... and then complete layd throghout the day, only going out as per my own will...not even need...it was FUN.

It's just fun, pure fun that I can again move from one place to another and can also have a cup or two tea and a fag or two with only 20 rupees in hand.

Fun.....

With the coming week knocking at the door, "have to's" will soon creep in...like, will have to go somewhere for some definite need and the act wont b JLT....and then within a few hours all JLT's in life will be markedly replaced by "Have-to"s......OH..Wat pain....i feel like crying....no not actually....i feel like screaming and i feel like holding on to this passing time with a screeaaaaaaaaccccchhhhhhh........

Neways.....with this resolution fever on, i hereby take a short term resolution........."i will not crib.....and nag".....well i mentioned it- "short term"...which can just be a moment long.....:D:D:D

no seriously..no cribbing let time pass and let those stupid, farty, crapy, itching "have-to's" take over the beautiful, angelic "JLT's".....I Will NOT CRIB....COME WAT MAY....

ok...the moment is over...and therefore....Oh God....again..... :(.............no..no cribbing..:P:P.....P for promise.........:D:D..short term.....though....:D:D:D:D:D

Home Coming

2009-01-08T01:58:00.001+05:30

Back to the heaven addressed 95, Southern Avenue. A mere split of 90 days from the heaven gave an impression of staying away for some eras. Not only the place but everything around, as they call it "a package" made me feel wat it meant to me..consciously now...

as of now...the feeling of being in the Paradise havent sinked in ...but sure with the so called "monotonous and old life" will get in to the track in no time.

Let it be "monotonous and old life"..i care not....i am loving it..whatever it is.........

ok....for reasons not to get involved into any sort of plagiarism, i consciously mention that the pic here was shot by an angel of the Paradise......(to console the yelling angel)..:D:D:D

Mumbai Chapter ends..

2009-01-02T07:30:00.001+05:30

with a new dawn ...i bid adieu to a chapter which i cherished to the core ....

hey...will miss u all....will miss this place, this city...everything....
....thanks axiom, thanks everybody, thank you mumbai....

Rendezvous with the Queen

2008-12-31T03:02:00.001+05:30

May b only a few days to experience the grandeur, the royal majesty of "Her Highness"....well if i can start with quite chronologically, then:

1) Dadar station looked like some station on howrah-bardhaman main line. Bandra sea-shore looked awesome with sunlight gleaming on the silver water.

2) A ride on the famous "Mumbai-Taxi"..a fiat..and then on an auto, which is famous for the meter, watever it reads the commuter has to pay a rupee less...:D.

4) An afternoon in Mumbai...a huge city...HUGE.......but the suburbs look more like some small industrial town and complete in itself. Met Shivek - we were neighbours in that small and warm town, were classmate...after 10 years. First night in Mumbai.....the cold guesthouse....the city didnt sleep though.....

5) First ride in an auto...all alone...went to golu's place....ohh...u can travel a distance with 2o bucks in hand......they said Mumbai is a costly city!!!!!!well..more to c....

6) The reason for a step here and there in this city.... Axiom Education: shouldn't have peeped inside the glitzy curtains....knew something ...which i shldnt have had known then....neways.....but they said...mumbai people r not helpful.....they are snob.....:O:O(misconception and rumour pre-exists human)

7) The days went by....Juhu, Bandstand, Versova, Mud island, Andheri (W), Santa cruz....

8) Food still remains a problem....all the restaurants here serve drinks....i am still to experience.... Hey the "Mumbai lifeline" on weekends are just fine ....well, on weekdays they appear rowdy even to the daily passengers.....come on man..u cannot always look for loopholes....

9) More of you....

10) All the restaurants here serve drinks...mumbai people around make your life easier.....they rock......

11) COLABA, GATEWAY OF INDIA, THE TAJ PALACE HOTEL, THE LEOPALD CAFE, THE RESERVE BANK OF INDIA, THE MUMBAI HIGHCOURT, THE WESTERN RAILWAY HEAD QUARTER, HUTATMA CHOWK...............in Mumbai.....as in the part of the city where i am staying....is it????? the same city????u r not lying rite!!!hey Gorgeous......elegant old lady.....i am loving you.....i am in love.....they say...MUMBAI MERI JAAN!!!!!!!!they say it rite.......

12) Love you ...

13) Hey i looked back .......i think i heard my name.........u gave me all that i needed.....but "HOME-calling"..."Kolkata".

14) I dont know..if ever.....but i wish today.......may be once again....sometime.....may b....but definitely once .... if only once.......i kneel down to your honour

15) Love you....Miss u, i will not..... will be with you.....you will be with me.....

State of Bliss

2008-12-24T16:04:00.001+05:30

.....PUZZLED.....CONFUSED......CLUELESS.....

Unwrapped Emotions....

2008-12-24T13:18:00.001+05:30

may be again i have a reason to be....i really dont know "what"!!!!!!!..ok..write....neways...chuck it.....wat i feel....

Life teaches us numerous lessons which are either followed or are just kept aside...

"A good-bye with a smile"...is the worst lesson of all that "Life" teaches......

I mean we can just be straight and up right while expressing some emotions which are equally vital as the lessons....!!!!!!! ...

hey!!!!!?????

It Rained

2008-12-11T20:51:00.001+05:30

Like many other posts..without any reason, base, logic or anything....this practise might describe me......if observed...a creature marching on the earth, without a radar...aimlessly, baselessly, illogically.....well...not to continue on that line...

This time i am trying to jot down memories associated with songs....i am not trying to start in any chronological order, rather as it comes to my jagged memory.

Rite at this point of time, i am listening to songs of Metro and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, (wat did you say???, u expected something very different from this collection???.....then i must say, u have stepped on to a wrong blog..this might not be your place...i am sure u will find greener pastures around..:-D)

Well, the songs from these two films, reminds me every act, weird act, i performed in the show-house called "Compare Infobase"...without fail i still say....the place definitely had the charm to woo many if not all...i was among "many" of them.

"In-dino dil mera" and "bol na halke halke" reminds me of those showers, which stood as a transparent curtains between me standing on the verandah and those distant green scape on one side and those concrete structures on the other side, just to mention one among the numerous shots that pass my memory scape within seconds, as soon as any of these two songs start.

The sessions at Xrong, i remember i heard JBJ's songs, for the first time. i remember the capris fitting me fine, the peach colored t-shirt just highlighting the contours of my body as those were, the long tresses, wet and smelling sweet becuase of that newly discovered shampoo and the fragrance that i always wore till then....

The walk from 95, southern avenue to Deshapriya park, Rahul's car waiting in front of the National High School, me walking towards the school, Debolina beside me...and then discovering the other two sitting in the car, unlike "all-drenched" debolina and me, they were dry as a date and were looking as proper as one can manage to look for some highly anticipated interview call after ages.

"In dino dil mera" also reminds me - loosing my favorite "Osho Chappal"...well, i have fetish for objects which helps me feel "lighter" ...;-D, the same osho chappal i wore to XRONG, the time i heard JBJ's music. well and then the other two sitting in Rahul's car didnt even notice that i was on my way to office, without any "footwear..and yes...i mean it...

This song also reminds me of the "special lift" in pisi's car...though at that point of time neither of us knew each other....moment i just entered with my soiled feet , i could hear the song...

Man, i took this song as a jinxed one in my life...but....yes..as always i think i was wrong.

the post to be continued..as per the delivery from the above jagged memory,...:D:D

Winters in Daltonganj

2008-11-29T15:54:00.001+05:30

Want to go to Daltonganj.....anytime between Dec.15 to Jan.15. why...????? Well....

1) Its my home town.....Duh

2) Want to appreciate the beauty of Nature, when tempearture is falling down to some 2 and 1 degree celsius..(well such a fall in temperature can also be experienced in many other towns and cities in India, but along with the natural beauty, the ever rising pollution level alomost comes free in this era of globalisation.)

3) I haven't experienced such a beauty in almost five years now.

4) Sudden gusts of rain...when the temperature is some 3 degree celsius.

5) Waking up in the morning which looks like evening because of mist and fog.

6) Leisurely stroll ...no not a stroll...in the afternoon, cycling through those dingy gullies and relatively broad streets where everybody looks at you as if they know you, but fails to figure at a go....and hence looks at you perplexed..and you often pass by...

7) Stroll along the riverside in the evening...like at around 4-4.30 p.m.

8) A sudden power cut on those full moon nights when you are sitting all covered in your woollens and under a blanket.

i mean..all the above experience combined...you can just afford to die after such a bliss.....

Rahul

2008-11-28T16:27:00.001+05:30

Few things never change.....even today, Rahul reaches Deshapriya Park at 8.15.....(source:.Reliable...My sincere thanks to the reliable source.)

Mumbai

2008-11-28T12:09:00.001+05:30

I personally salute the spirit of this city. It shows us..Life "doesnt stop"....

Incessant fight (may be "WAR", this time) against terrorism, specifically, in one part of the city give other parts more vigour to fight out the general and minimal oddities of life......Life continues...only after a traumatic shake....

Standard Chartered

2008-11-26T12:40:00.001+05:30

The last thing on earth on which one can write i guess.......:D:D:D...

Okk..identity of the same and why it stands so significant!!!!

1) My salary account for Compare Infobase Ltd. Kolkata.:D:D:D....(A workplace with all its oddities stood special in everyway.)

2) A proper bank account, may be the first one in 24 years.

3) Still remember the guy who came in with the bank papers when the account was being opened. (looked liked Shiney Ahuja..:D:D :P:P)

4) Never used to draw money from the bank ATM, instead used all other ATMs till a certain period of time....reason..because....the nearest bank ATM from my place or office could be reached in an auto..:D:D....

5)The day i realised, i have donated almost 1000, on an average, every month for almost 4 months, for the no.4 act....then on, i started loving the bank ATM, no matter how many autos i had to change...:D:D

6) Also lost the ATM card, "not lost really"....got it back from the shuttle driver, only after getting the same blocked from the customer care service...:D:D..by the time i received the old one, i have already applied for a new card..obvious...:-

7)Received the new card after four months ..because...my address was that of Jharkhand and not Kolkata....which otherwise would have been back in my wallet within 15 days time....:P:P......

8)Religiously went to the Gariahat Branch every sunday to withdraw money during this period, when i didnt had the card.

9)Yesterday, 25th of November, 2008, i drew the last amount of money left in that account....and i have kept the slip safe...i will keep it forever....i dnt know..but i love the bank....the green, blue and white combination may b.....

10) Today, my birthday, again, as noted in all official documents, 26th of November, 2008. this bank has sent me an sms which goes this way..."Dear Customer, It's just another day, but this one is the best of the year!!Happy Birthday!-Your Right Partner, Standard Chartered Bank".....

11) True..."The right partner"...will miss banking with you......or may be banking on you...Good Bye..StanChart.....

Hothat..

2008-11-26T11:25:00.001+05:30

....J.U r jonne mon kharap korlo...tai naam likhbo..jaader ghire oi duniya ta chilo.....jekhane ei shiit kaal gulo milan da e bose kete jeto.......chenchamichi, golpo, gujob, pechone laga, haansi, thatta, chote jawa...ei sob miliyei din gulo kete gechilo....

Nnaam gulo likhlam...britha chesta....thik parlam na.........

Aaaj dingulo ektu dhoyate hoye geche.....kintu sob sriti r modhye ke jaane keno oi din gulo konodin jhapsate hoyni...ekhono hoyni...hobe kina janina...hoyto hobe na.......

Ekhono mone pore....oi canteen er samne bose hoyto kono du jon mile ekta cha er bhaare..ekta choto golpo aar haansa haansi diye shuru hoto..tarpor ek-ek kore kotha theke sobai juute jeto.....diner seshe......jotla ta vivekanda hall er samne giye jomto.....bela goriye dupur, bikel periye sondhe..raat.....tokhun abar oi 8B morer chaaer dokan e..aarekta jomayet.....ei jomayet e university r jabotiyo chele meye thakto...jaara auto r line e dariye bari ferar ekta chesta korto....abar line theke beriye,....aabr cha khete khete, oi mathar opor rajnoitik bigyapon gulo dekhe, prochondo uttejito hoye, bhaar er por bhaar cha kheye..aaro 1, 1 1/2 ghonta deri hoye jawa....amar p.g. te dhukte aaro kichu ghontar deri.....arekta mithye kotha...ekebaare sottyi r moto kore......tarpore room e dhukei....soma r pechone lege...o ghumole or ghum bhangiye..nije kaan e radio ta chepe sei fyal fyal kore takiye thakte thakte ghumiye pora....:D:D:D

sei sokal er jotla taaye...english, ecomoncs, comparative literature, film studies er lokjon to thekei thakto....baki bodhoy edik odik theke aaro kichu lok juute jeto......sob mile jeto.....oneke oneker naam jaanto na...kintu tabole golper beg e konodino seta badhar shristi koreni...

mone pore.....baaje boka, shudhu boke jawa, maane-bihin boka......o-karone-karone haansi, loker pechone lege ekta odbhut aaram, moja.., lok ke deke deke khorak kora, tarpor cigg kinba cha ta onner naame milan daar theke newa....

hothat mone hoye..hoyto onno duniyar kotha ............bodhoi swopnoi mone hobe aaro kichu bochor baade......

Disgusting

2008-11-25T18:52:00.002+05:30

I feel like scribbling... and I will do so…

Today is my 26th biological birthday, and 25th ,officially. Well…should I consider myself lucky for that…I give a damn….

If asked..wat significant have I done in these 26 years of existence???

NOTHING…is the only answer that comes to my mind…rite now..and probably whenever this question will be asked..

Well…if I really make an effort to jot down….(real effort mind you):

1) Have bugged everyone irrespective of whoever I have known in these years. (They have never enjoyed it really…at times I have enjoyed bugging them, intentionally..at time it was my nature..and therefore it came naturally from me, unintentionally and they were naturally irritated..)…ohh…looks like I cared!!!!!! FART..

2) Have managed to gobble some stupid academic degrees..(does it help in life???)well…first class everytime…without fail…(do I sound like I am proud of those achievements??…yes I am…because I have nothing else to be proud of…)

3) Have managed to go to places for studies u c(Oh studious u mean!!!…and then work…:O…well the list comprises of Hazaribagh, Varanasi, Kolkata and now Mumbai…(So wat is the big deal mam????..nothing man..please note… I am making a list of my achievements..:-)

Achievements that were not welcomed but embraced me…

1) 26…. don’t have a proper, secure and stable professional graph and status..same applies to personal life…..(wooo…u mean ….wanderer????i see it mentioned somewhere else too in this blog.. :O:O) Bull shit..

2) I have not been to my home town almost two years now….( okkk..so that is a point to be proud of!!!!:O…. why don’t I die????a question I often ask myself and people around me also ask…I dnt have an answer to it!!!)FART and FUCK OFF.

3) Have been cheated twice ….crystal clear…3rd is always on the way, I mean u dnt get to see the unseen and can expect anything, rite…….( know wat…i always tried Acting Smart and the bastards were always Smart….)..okk..so being cheated…..an achievement…....so perpetual loss of faith and trust. Have acquired the great caliber to doubt one and all…still get cheated….because have been better still in doubting the wrong person.

Confession on this day..no not resolutions..but I would definitely like doing these..sometime…may be in an year’s time..which would give me an opportunity to jot down some real achievements next year, I guess….(Keeping my fingers crossed)

1) Want to go to Daltonganj..be there….for at least 10 days….come back happy…do something that my parents expect from me..even the other family members…(what they want me to do at present is …GET MARRIED….., well, that’s a different interesting story altogether):D:D

2) Seriously man, high time..a stable professional life…personal, doubtlessly, I look forward to …I need both of that.

Ohhh….a big list of achievements……and stop self pitying and acting as a gyaan paapi….slut …….

My Birthday

2008-11-25T10:01:00.001+05:30

Well....to start with, as usual my card validity has expired on 24th November at 23:59hrs. My apology goes to one and all who tried wishing me at the mid-night, might be a very few...but whatever..and whoever.....

Strangely, 1st one to wish me on my b'day was, 160by2.com, i was surprised to see no sender's name along with the message but then realized what it was. second and without fail since last four years Amrita Di...she wishes me without fail and i without fail forget to wish her on her wedding anniversary which falls on the same date.....things remained the same even this year.

I am again dead sure...Satabdi Sengupta and Soma Mukherjee, (well..now that she is Mrs..she has more chores to handle I guess..oohhhh.....as if i care....) these mortals have been taking pleasure in forgetting my birthday since three years now and everytime i remind them they come up with faces and blows of sorry feeling as if my birthday has turned into my death day. well, they sound clear and straight in not giving any excuses..(modest and honest they r u c)...and then dramatics like, " ki kore toke mukh dekhabo", "chi....ki kore bhule gelam....chiiiiiiii" and all those stuff everytime i remind them of the same. well, this time i have given them a reason as to why they cldn't call...but let me tell you ...incoming messages r still free and those r coming in.

If i am not wrong, sarmistha and pallavi will soon follow the league...if not reminded by some other people...i think they will wish me mid way but only if they remember…..

neways..whatever it is....it feels good...

Banashree was the first one to wish me last night.....

Well...improvement..satabdi remembered..she wished me...:D:D:D....not only that..has sent me a bouquet alongwith a teddy......very happy..but teddy ta dekhe ektu maane.....ahem....satabdi..bhalobasssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

acha ..correction..sarmistha has tried calling me up a number of times on my roommate's cell......thankyou..tomakeo bhalobasssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

pallavi says.....i was suppose to remind her a day before.....so its been my fault that i didnt remind her........i c...

Soma...smartest ass...banashree called her up and reminded her........she messaged me at 2 in the afternoon...

neways....sobai k bhalobasssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiii

Lost, i am

2008-11-24T18:45:00.001+05:30

Mumbai, at times looks good, at times ...no not sad, not depressing...but u know the city is so huge, my mortal being just fail to get the links to its over the centuries existence. . ..The grandeur of the city with my mere attempts to know it, fails to strike a balance in between. I am often left to wander "no-where" after travelling a distance of say some 30 kilometers over a span of two hours.

Well, i dnt complain, the city allure thousands with such vastness of its own and by which it definitely swears to the upcoming trend of lifestyle and living.

Only that i get lost ...i g haywire...i fail to find an identity of my own while moving.....

:D:D:D

2008-11-20T16:37:00.001+05:30

ok.......i thought of putting this separately, though i cn club this to my last post.......but let this be a post where in i will gather ideas of wat ppl think about me...:D:D:D:D:D, another instance of being a MEGALOMANIAC..:D:D:D:D

(Verbatim)....Amrita:

amu: im half way thru being indif like u, purota hote parchhina

I liked this a bit too much...:D:D:D:D

"I"

2008-11-18T20:08:00.001+05:30

"I" have come up with something that can be on "About me" on the profile , but i refrain from putting this there, instead i will take this opportunity to flaunt my self and will keep adding to this post as i discover more about myself...::D:D:D:D:D...to start with , as u cn c and i will have ample to prove the first statement , which goes like this ...

1) I am a "megalomaniac"

2) I like walking off the shed, when its raining and its "calf-deep" water, coz, "ankle deep" doesnt make it exciting enough and when its "knee-deep", you have to put in a bit more effort to wade through....so u c .."I" am lazy, lethargic..

3) I make myself sure that i dnt cry while watching the scene in Cinema Paradiso, where Alfredo says a few words to Toto, while he is leaving "Giancaldo", the words are as follows :
" Dont come back, dnt think about us, dnt give into nostalgia, forget us all. Whatever you end up doing, love it, the way you loved the projection booth when you were a little squirt".

and after the scene gets over, i feel a lump down my throat.

4) Of late, i often realise the fact that our parents are mortal being like anybody who leaves for eternal bliss.

5) I love sipping Frappe Hazelnut with a smoke, specially when i am sitting alone in that corner of the Lake Road Barista.

6) i have argued and have been rude to all at some point of time, except for one.

7) Nowadays, i feel like stopping half way while introducing myself to someone, may be because i have lost patience of introducing myself in all these years with the same to say.

8) I enjoy sitting with all those who can talk non-sense for hours uncounted and then can sit fr hours without a word. The best thing neither i nor they feel the urge of speaking or moving on just because silence intervenes, these are the persons whom i call friends. (they also call me the same. i am sure).

9) I was fat and i didnt care, i am fat and i think i care, but i have started loving cheese and butter all the more.

10) I miss my school days, because of the place, i miss my college days because of the hostels, i miss my university days.

11) I love dogs, calf, rabbit and tortoise and poking my friends, pulling other's leg and laughing at myself when the gang does so.

12) I remember walking with the ice cream in hand on a winter night after having a dinner with a few.

13) I like the "Southern Avenue" stretch to Golpark and the lansdowne stretch till Deshapriya park.

14) I love getting up in the morning and evening on a call where in i get to know that there's a get together organised by some at any nearby coffee shop.

15) I love when people give me names and call me by those names.....gejo, gaju, chimp, panu, mota, timo.....anyname......

16) I haven't been to Daltonganj fr almost two years now and i avoid going there, for i still have the habit of expressing.."Everything is Fine with me, I am not sad"..while bidding that good bye even after 10 years of staying away from home, "I really dnt feel fine and feel sad" at that moment..i think even here i understated wat i really feel. ....i feel the same lump down my throat as mentioned in point 3.

17) I love shouting and partying with...as mentioned in point 8

18) I love talking to myself .

19) I like when people about whom i care, scolds me.

20) At times i like the way it is, at times i hate the way it is.

Mumbai is looking Good

2008-11-17T10:01:00.001+05:30

A very frank and a rude statement i will make....

I am enjoying Bunny's and Golu's company to the fullest here in Mumbai for the undermentioned reasons....(At times one of my roommate can also be counted here in the list):

1) They are the best with whom i can be myself because they are at comfort being themselves.

2) I can enjoy the way I want to because we have a similar definitions and idea of enjoying.

3)Going out with them doesnt mean i will have to just move around, they are as good foodie as i am ( if not, then loves drinking) and therefore i enjoy eating and drinking with them no matter where it is.

4) Not only that they try not to be formal, they are not formal because they cannot be formal, atleast with me.

For other's, here in Mumbai, you people either try to be very formal with me or over friendly. I hate both the attitudes.

Another One..:D

2008-11-17T09:44:00.001+05:30

U can afford to be nostalgic when :

1) You are sitting with some sensible old pals, by "sensible" i mean some who has faced the same situation in the same way as you have faced it, (as in moving out of home town and stuff like that or from that cozy comfort zone of the past, to be precise... but then when u say that, everyone claims to have a rugged present topography ....so plain and simple....People whom you think will understand and can contribute or to the least will be a good listener to the topic or act of being nostalgic.

2) You are sitting with the same guys boozing and smoking on the terrace on an October night under starry sky say after an appraisal or just the night before when you all are going on a 10 days trip to some hilly regions.

3) You are travelling, specifically in a train and heading towards the place you love... for anything, as in you are travelling where in you are expecting fun and you are just happy about going to the concerned place.

4) You have something where you can jot down your memories.

5) you are alone because you are happy or you are happy that you are alone.

Look for the above conditions, you can afford to be nostalgic because that wont make you cry, instead, it will give you an opportunity to feel good about your past and therefore trying to make a present and a future of which you can be nostalgic about in the distant future.

Well, end of this crap...i thought this way....therefore......you see.. i had something where i jotted it down....:D:D:D:D

Bloggy

2008-11-14T14:17:00.001+05:30

I am writing a blog now...because
1) I am writing one
2) I am not feeling like working
3) I am tired of writing sense
4) Ilove this blog thing
5) I am in a mood to nag, but i see no one interested in listening to the same.

Realisations:
1) The kolkata people write the best blogs (I strictly mean only YOUTHS from KOLKATA....and u do count me among them...as youth, not necessarily Blogger....)

2) The JU, Presidency and the Xavier's people write the best blogs(I mean anyone who has even visited any of these places even fr a fag counter.)

Attempt
1) Trying to take this commercial capital of India on blogosphere by writing one from the location.

Kolkata..i LOVE......Mumbai...I MIGHT LOVE someday......and u have to care about it...

Minima Dark

2008-11-14T10:38:00.002+05:30

Back to my old template.......the only reason i think this template supports as in stands as a good enough background for both serious and crappy things......

The one to which i switched over ...seems as if it's only for serious stuffs (as in the look of the template)....i dont blame......

I'm happy.....:D:D:D

B" folllowed by an "U"...

2008-11-14T10:11:00.001+05:30

i have discovered .......any word where a "B" is folllowed by an "U"...the word utters pain..in a way or another....like....(Out of my experiences..please dnt take it to your heart)

1) Bus: I mean BEST
2)Butt: Either of that Fag about which you wonder where to put it...or just that BIG ONE.
3) Bun: Pav as they call it here in Mumbai.....:X.....How can a city survive on this round eatable thing????
4) But: makes a sentence crooked and i hate that..(i mean that stupid If..But Chemistry).
5)Burn: The one that happen when you are Jealous of someone.
6)Burlesque: Why misrepresent someone??

A few exceptions:
Bud or Buddy: symbolises hope.....

Oh wat realisations.....i feel proud...:D:D:D

Wish

2008-11-14T10:01:00.002+05:30

You know wat..i feel like writing when i am reading other blogs, when i see other's and my blog , when i read the most simple and commonest of things that some one has jotted down .

But i dont feel like writing on this blank space.....give me something that is similar to the template, on which, if i scribble, will give me sense that i am writing it on the board.

I know this a wish too much..but wats the harm!!!!!!!!...:D:D:D:D:D

To You

2008-11-11T10:05:00.001+05:30

Had i been in kolkata i am not sure whether i would have gone to the 14th Kolkata International Film Festival or not. But irrespective of that, now that i am not in kolkata, i am missing the event, i will miss the event and i will keep missing it for reasons plenty. I will miss it for the next seven days, may b till the next year, may be anytime till amnesia hits me.

This event reminds me cliched (ly) of an opportunity to watch films....goes without saying, but a number of other activities that used to keep me really busy - i will be missing those.

I will be missing those poke that i got for not making it to one of the good films of the festival, poke for just sitting idle when all were too enthusiastic to watch a certain screening, poke at the moment when realization has dawned on all others that they have also missed a film just because of the contagious lethargy.

I will be missing end number of people whom i met only during those seven days. I will be missing just a "hi" from someone whom i had met years back and then a sudden pleasure of meeting them again, may be just for a fleeting minute if not second. I will be missing the center seat in the "Nandan Complex", where neither you nor any one can miss each other's presence, i will be missing those "just-sit-beside" conversation and eventually ending up being another prominent acquaintance in each other's list.

I will be missing moving out of a hall, creeping, on not liking the film. I will be missing saying a lie to someone about a film which i havent watched on a positive review about the same hitting my ear. I will be missing saying a lie about watching a film from the start to the end, in which i have actually slept through the whole film.

I will be missing those last shows and then waiting for a taxi for just an hour, may b it was nt about getting a taxi it was just about spending another hour discussing about the day and the days to come.

I will miss the cold breeze, i will miss the chill of the halls, specially Rabindra sadan and Shishir Mancha.

I will be missing u all, i will be missing it all....but i think i will like missing it for that will give me sense of how i enjoyed "Something", which i never realised.

Grrr..:X

2008-11-10T18:56:00.001+05:30

Me being a jerk have come across many who are plain escapists and son of bitches....and if i am not wrong i am turining into both an escapist and a bitch.....:X:X..really annoyed on everything and everyone around...:X:X...first.. on myself

The surname game

2008-11-08T11:58:00.001+05:30

Changes in these surnames:

1) Duttaray --> Chakraborty

2) Mohanty -->Parija

3) Hatimuria --> (wld b..) dnt know

4) Mukherjee --> Gupta

5) Sengupta --> NO IDEA

Well, as inference can be easily drawn, or if not, the above mentioned surnames (the first ones) were all tagged to the persons who were my "Friends".

Well, the first three just changed, leaving not much impacts on my existence. The surnames were rolled in and rolled out just as the role of those people in my life..nothing great.....came in and went away....were there till my eyes could see them....were out of my mind moment they were not seen.......so may be i will just refer them to as roommates that they were for 1 year and the contact game was intact till the change in surname.

Well, the change of the 4th on the list will definitely have a greater impact on my life in compared to in any other surname getting changed in this world.

Mukherjee, Soma Mukherjee to Soma Gupta, As her husband's Souvik Gupta....

-- I know her: since circa 2000
-- Roommate: 2000-2002, again 2003-2005.....4 years.
-- Stayed in the same city : 2000-2008.

Yyes, thats the number. 8 years of togetherness, friendship, hatred, love, disgust, well being, pleasure, displeasure and all emptions that a person can have in a span of 8 years, per se, every emotions were exchanged and were noted on each other's existence.

Ok...she stood witness to all my highs and lows....she knew better than me when i was happy, she knew better than my parents when i was sad, she knew better than anyone, when i was not in the right mood. May be, one get to know a person better than anyone else when they have to spend 24/7 with the person under the same roof.

Well, we had to put up at different places, during the later years as per the call of the situation and time. (May be that was just an epilogue to the time coming..).

Our rendezvous or should i say meetings or dont know wat xactly, was carried on holidays, sundays, saturdays, even if not regularly, yes, sporadically. One and some more things for sure, we knew if there was no one we were just a call away from each other. We knew if we dnt have any plans to spend the day, we cn just call up and plan out somethig which will definitely make the day more interesting than any other days. We knew, we wanted to watch a movie at the night show and if we dnt get a conveyance after the show gets over....we cn walk down the lane or any distance just with the craps, silly laughters and what not.....We knew we can laugh at the silliest things for hours, we knew we can discuss the most serious things in life, that we considered serious enough, fr hours, we knew we can wake up wither of us no matter how deep sleep we r in.

But having said all that...it doesnt mean..we never fought, we never got tired of each other, at times we wanted "Not to be with each other"....and the reunion was never a reunion, the hatred or the disgust didnt change just in a second.........we hated each other for the silliest reason, we were irritated on each other just because we had no one around to vent that irritation out....yes.."Punch Bag" they call it......no regrets for the fights, no tears for the times we werent together. .....we tolerated each other's oddities as it were....no complains......... we enjoyed just the way we were with each other.

Now if i sit to think...wat about those loud laughters while watching a movie? Wat about those fridays, saturdays and sundays..when we knew we were definitely there to be with each other, willingly or unwillingly??!! Wat about those night shows, which when ended saw us laughing for getting no conveyance way back home? Wat about those sudden mood swings or irritations when i knew you were there where i can vent out all and all would just set in perfectly with an equal jitter from the other side......no idea......

Well, things changes, circumstances changes and people always find their ways out.....certainly i will, may be with your help.......

......And for the change in the 4th surname ....i really have no idea as to what will happen.........only i can hope and wish, not to witness the effect of that change in the surname and then residing in the same city.

Miss Lee

2008-11-03T19:49:00.001+05:30

Well..a bit happy and a bit nervous..seems like adrenaline is pumping it out real fast.....the reason....well nothing so much ...but just in case if u r really interested.....will leave soon to collect the Lee Jeans, that i bought yesterday. Left it at the store to get it altered....coz the waist and height proportion is a bit disproportionate in my case...:D:D

Know wat..went to the store..and blatantly asked for "Waist: 36"....more blatant was the answer from the sales boy.." 34 is the last size we have"....

All expressionless expressions and reactionless reactions, were just about to take the center stage...i intervened....err.."sorry i mean 34..., straight fit, mid rise.."

Undoubtedly, the sales boy went into some bouts of doubts to get me a jeans that matched all the criteria..took out 2 pairs from the rack....i ran into the trial room....didnt like either of them a bit.....came out...handed the jeans over and made it a point to make the point straight and sound..."Not the right fit"....

About to leave....with much of a snobbish reaction on face...but a little disheartened....."I want to buy a Jeans and that has to b branded one......thats it.....

Almost on the verge of the exit line...voice broke the silence.."try this one...just once...its 32, straight fit and not mid but low rise....."

"well" ...snatched the jeans...ran into the trial room...

2 minutes....

Wow...it fits me and fits me right.....yupppiieeeeeee........

Ran to the cash counter....paid it and left it to get altered.......and now i am rushing off.....to get that altered thing.... after a long-long span of 5 years...bought a jeans....(when i think i wont bloat anymore..but thats an assumption)...for now i am off to get myself stamped as "Miss Lee".....:D:D

Unfashionably Fashionable Shit

2008-11-03T10:29:00.001+05:30

Unfashionably Fashionable Shit.. is all that i can say.....

Things those i liked in the film:

1) Kitu Gidwani is still beautiful in compared to the "MODELS" in the film.

2) Arbaaz Khan always manages to get a drop dead beautiful wife...either offscreen or onscreen......he looks for "Show Stopper" u c.

Things i didnt like..:

1) The-not-so-fashinable -"Fashion".

2) Priyanka Chopra: the small town girl, the struggling model, the successfool model, the "kicked-out" model, the "Plaster of Paris-ian Model-with a dead dumbo and expressionless face.

A few question:

1) Kangana Ranawat<=> Gitanjali Nagpal??????

2) I knew all eligible bachelors r either gay or engaged....(but i had no idea that these eligible bachelors are all mumbai based fashion designers.).. okk..i understand...had this not been the case, then an upcoming fashion designer remains straight forever, because the relatively settled designer needs to marry a "girl" because of some societal and familial pressure, and his "that-partner" of the struggling days gets hooked on to the present day struggling designer......Is this the formula???????.....Shit man....what hard luck!!!!...he always gets hooked onto struggling designers and not so settled ones. DAMN!!!!!

Last question:

3) Is there so few "Open" topics left that directors need to now focus on "Hidden-World" topics?????

Phew...one more plzzz......

4) Do directors need to keep their so-called "in the line" actors always happy...that even if it is not needed they have to be there on the screen including the director himself ..well , i think this is a way to get a stamp of "Modesty" that "yes, i made a film on this subject" or may be it is a silent and clever way to let the Dumbo target audience know that the film deals with "THIS" subject????

At last, no more question and a few confessions:

1) I know innumerable people around who are "GAY" and i am absolutely comfortable and hold no judgements for anybody's sexual orientation but dnt u think, Bhandarkar is portraying this relationship more forcibly, or may b just for the sake of it...or may b he portrays on reel what he cldnt portray in "Real"...iiiiiiikkkkkkkkkksssssss!!!!??????

2) I think, one should stop digging into the "Not so open world", and can also try to prove his metal by being either "a mainstream film maker" or a "Not a mainstream film maker", dangling between the two makes it difficult for the audience to mark the film categorically. (No, i tell this because people tend to look for this classification that makes their topic of discussion easier, though the distinction line between the two genres is still not clear to me.......:D:D

Just Like That..:D

2008-10-20T19:11:00.001+05:30

Hi, another day in the office...using the resources to satiate my personal urge of writing the blog....sounds nice, na...:D:D:D

You know what...today was one of those days....which went with a bit of portrayed and a bit of natural tension, both on the personal front and on the professional front. Personal tension was to lose the weight of my big fat ass in front of all my team mates, if my PL screams at me and tells me that whatever i did was wrong..(Though i thought..Nothing could b even be 1 point better than what i did)..and on the professional front my tension elated on the fact, what if my PM comes and tell me to empty that seat and take off my big fat ass from the chair and move out of the door...well, not for a smoke this time but for good......:(:(

Thankfully.....everything went right in place and my fat ass is still stuck to the chair from where i am getting an easy access to the keyboard on which i am punching ...:D:D

Well some more.....i debated with someone more harshly and went on to prove my point... that even if a company pays less to one who is desperately looking for a change..Its fine...and no sooner that he went offline...I realized whatever i said sounded really meaningless and funny.......sorry....i mean it…(......i didnt mean that as in the salary conversation.....later...but yes....i did realise what you said was correct and what i said was wrong.....but dnt u think it was partly correct..as in what i said....:P:P.....okkk...no more on that ......but you know wat!!!! we debated on this and none of us are actually the victim of the financial wrath that the world is facing.....we both are paid to our satisfaction.... and i am more than satisfied....:D:D:D:D...u need to kill time u c..and u also need to keep the other person hooked on to the chat...what if the conversation ends and the “Goodbye” comes in...:D:D....i kept the "Good-bye" at bay for say atleast for 1o mins....wo!!!Good job done...:D:D:D...but now i fear more....what if he doesn’t talk to me thinking i am a mindless fucking old soul....:(:(:(:(....no i am not...take my words here...and put off all that i said some hours back.........:-

Next in my eventful day was the "Leg-Pulling session".....we didn’t loose even a single second to get a butter masala done out of the already masaledaar gossip.....some one trying to console someone who is "thinking of settling"....and we the pokers..:D:D:D:...where do we get the information from????......obviously...if u scribble your personal longings and "DESIRE" on a public forum...did u say it was our fault to come across those desires and longings..then...HELLO.....we are "just friends” and can simply go on to other friends scrapbook to see if we are made the protagonist of the bitching session...well in the meantime if we get an opportunity where on a male's scrapbook we get to c mushy scraps from some female.....we see an opportunity to get another female getting introduced in "Our Bitching Session"...and as chance and luck had it for us....yeah...we got one...but u c we r too good to say someone a bitch......we just took the thread of scraps to put in some of our valuable scraps on the person's scrapbook......what harm did it do????...it only increased the number of scraps in the scrapbook...thats it....;-)

And my day ended happily with loads of work and paper still lying on the desk untouched...well that has to be said..or else you will get an idea as if my company pays me just like that.......no "re"..(in a typical marathi tone)...its not like that "re"..:-

Well, will surely come and do some heavy works tomorrow, (apart from organizing the piles of paper lying..which is literally a heavy work)..and will wait and browse through the net for sometime more to c if he is online and if i can just say...yes yes....its bad if a company takes a new employee for granted and pays him less.....yes i mean it........

till thn...goodbye.....today it seems i am in a lighter mood....and this post is different from all that i have on my dashboard…:D:D

I owe you......

2008-10-16T19:53:00.001+05:30

well...to start with....still in office.....but...not feeling like working...but the urge to scribble can seldom stop one from penning or rather "keyboarding"...-(thats copyright..u c)..:D:D..... down the abstracts of life and thoughts.

Well......since the last time when i made you my confidant for many an events that my life has witnessed......i traversed a long way.....physically.......unknowingly but intentionally. Know what!!!!.....I still remember the moment when i vigorously uttered the word "YES" for a sesion in Mumbai............. Yes......i was disturbed, irritated, disheartened, disgusted for the way your appealing charm reciprocated to my love. On that note, I just happened to discard it all, to move on to a place which would satisfy my urge to know something new.

Just in a moment's blow i wanted to shut my nose to the aroma of the Nahoum's at the New Market, and on the hindsight I was clear of my conscience of holding on to that single breath till last. i wanted to shut my eyes off the sight of the setting sun against the backdrop of the majestic Howrah Bridge or the magnificent Tech-smart buildings of Saltlake. I wanted to shut my ears to the fading honks of the cars running past the Science City to reach its destination office. I didnt wanted to feel that heat and then to relax and enjoy the cool showers that the clouds showered in the months to releive people from the harsh humidity.

Moment i said yes to the city that swears by its "Aqua-Beauty".....i knew i was going to miss the smell of the flowers that were never seen blooming but made their presence felt with the aroma far away, i also knew the righthand corner of "Xrong" would be devoid of the smoke i puffed and the crude loud laughter. I knew, the stretch from 95, southern Avenue to the Deshapriya Park stoppage would not get to see one of its daily commuters. Just a blank stare at the hanging verandahs of the houses in the Lake Market would look out for that missing glance . A walk to the Deshapriya Park and a "sitting idle" gesture would just be off with a whistle that the train would blow.....i knew i was going to miss all of this with you, who witnessed all my eccentricities and absurdities to the fullest.

But know what...moment i threw myself to the unknown grasp of the majestic aura of the Beach city.....your colonial brilliance was something i was not looking at, those sights i wanted to wipe off my memory board just as the smoke touched the roof of the College Street Coffee House, just as the last sip was slrupped by some at the T3 at the Park street corner or just as the last ray of the setting sun was wiped off with a single movement of the clock's minute hands.

Well i must admit, am looking forward to the day, when i will surely get a chance to embrace your magnificence and you will embrace me for the eccentricities and activities that you will again laugh at or just think about or just move by ignoring it. I miss you for all that you are, for the mornings where i woke up to your alluring tea and coffee shops, which ranged from a road side tea stall to any Barista or Flury's. For the afternoons where you attracted me to the table with foods that defined your authenticity and originality, for the evenings where friends could just stand and say a "Hi" to have a counter puff, or just the night to end the day with some ever nostalgic melodious voices being aired on the radio.

I wish to come back and i know i will for you, your serenity, care and the powerful Love that you ushered on me, u should know i will come back to you and be game till eternity to be with you.

Hind-sight

2008-09-10T10:40:00.002+05:30

Well, this is for a cause and a reason i am overwhelmed about and feeling from the core of my heart. Kolkata Sojourn of almost more than five years now, will experience a certain break. Well, this sojourn to the city of joy was with certain motives in life, certain dreams strewn to existence, certain expectations, excitements, hopes and everything more to the process called "LIFE".

A lot of lessons learnt and taught.....lessons to hold on, to move on, to start with, to end at and so on and so forth. Sometimes i loved the city in a way as if it stands dearest to me and at times just wanted to break free the chains of comfort and move out. Well, the later occurred only a few times but the former defined the way of life i led for more than five years.

I remember times, when i just couldn't think of an incident occuring in my life and the city not standing a witness to it. How dearly i held this joy to my heart. Anything and everything that defined this city made me happier if not happy.

This city on its first appearance unveiled its beauty as one basking in the shade of the setting sun as if the sun cared not to glare harshly upon which would hurt the serene beauty of the lad standing veiled to the strenuous world, yet letting in everything without interrupting themotion of change creeping in. The golden charm of the city appealed to me in any form and at any time of the day.

The sun, hitting straight, the multistoreyed building opposite the huge maidan, the Victoria Memorial standing with all pride and vigor, the trams rattling by, the buses plying only to stop at the signals and then making a queue to move by with all those gittering noise and leaving one in the dark clouds of smoke from behind. Well this was an aspect of the city, where it portrayed itself at its best.

Another look of the city which not only appealed to me but also stood staring at me for more than two years were the pale yellow walls of the buildings in the Jadavpur University Premise. The broad staircases, the lifts with the collapsible gates, the bridge on the lake, the sun-heated cement seats of the canteen were the structures which knew our hideouts better than us, who stood as the silent witness to all the craps of the bunkers sitting and dillydallying to moments uncounted and unnoticed with the cups, to be precise the bhaars of cha and smokes of ciggarette blowing high to reach the unknown and unseen fate and and hold on to the dreams dreamt. Adda, bhaant, golpo, gujob were all an integral part of the mere existence.

With numerous new faces passing by, some standing to observe others, some sitting to just let the time pass by, and everything so dear to heart.....last but not the least what i can say about this city and dedicate to is.........."You stood as the teacher and critic for everything and most important lessons of life, which only experience could teach and you took the role of changing the scene to help me learn more and make the play most interesting."

Doors Opened to Show the Dreams Getting Materialised

2008-09-01T11:12:00.001+05:30

Ok ...so if i get back to a work that i used to do, say, 3 yrs back (definitely with a personal touch)....ok..let me write wat i felt about "Rock On".

Unbiased..to start with....."If GOD has an entity of a male and therefore by sheer chance or luck... if is handsome.......then its "ARJUN RAMPAL"........"

The film....well portrayed the dreams and the aspirations of people when they are in their youth and the way it fades away with time and situation. A group of four enthusiasts moves in to start a rock band......with events and achievements and failures intertwined the dream breaks to hit hard the reality........well, as i perceive it...something breaks to reunite in a more solid form..so happened in this film too....

All the four reunites after a span of 10 years when all were settled in their own way..more basking in commercial success than realizing their dreams and heading forward to achieve it. One an investment consultant, two managing their paternal business .....but one with ease and other facing the failure in its own way, the fourth one stands mid way between realizing his dream and giving it a commercial touch....needless to mention, success kissed them after facing a bitter experience of a fight of egos and some one gaining a bit more importance by taking the risk of making certain unfavorable decisions. Finally, after all bitter tatse they were destined to taste the sweetness and magnanimity of the dreams revived and giving it a real touch. They di prove their metal to the world.

Well, if not to analyze the film critically and trying to relate to it i can say, one just gets blown with the need of the situation and call of the more "real" time. Today at this junction i can only say, look back to a time where you have left your dreams unfulfilled and happiness uncherished..when you are in a position to call your dreams and give it a shape which it deserved and which shows you a sign of success that you wished to see long back......well stands the quote in this scenario..."better late than never".....

Constant and Rapid

2008-08-13T10:32:00.001+05:30

Its really been long that i have scribbled or just jotted down my thoughts here in my blog. Today its nothin special, but just another day in my life, I feel like speaking something..something very absurd may be, but just feeling like....no special reason.. nothing.

Yes but i am feeling a bit different nowadays for having certain things changed for better (or i dont know may b a prelude for the worse....God forbid), though temporarily, on the other hand some things are worsening at a ligtning speed......however, life never seems to stop or move accordingly, .......at times it really feel strange to observe that its this 'life' that brings in all happiness and at times sadness (though unwanted), but the moment when you want to live accordingly you are just helpless...Life moves on as per its own rhythm as if not caring for what has creeped into your "Life" to make you feel happier or sad.

Needless to mention, i was blogging quite more frequently and regularly when i was again experiencing some bitter truth in my life, i sought repose from those clammers by writing here in my blog, thoug there was nothing related to the incidents happening, but, i dnt know how, believe me, i did find some kind of peace and repose in doing so.

Today, its not that the things have got better or that the darker times have shed off to bring in new light, but may be in some way or the other i have succumbed to it, i have got used to it, may be i have become numb to it (but having used the word "numb", it will be wise and safe to mention ........only for the way it is at present, if it changes again even by an inch, i will again have to make myself understand and start getting acquainted to it in all new way...again that will be a task in itself).

If change is the only constant, let changes come in so rapidly so that you dont even get a time to sit and really ponder over the past...as it is..the past always looks beautiful and good in compare to the unknown future and the so called "Vulnerable Present".......

Dazed and Amazed

2008-07-08T12:06:00.002+05:30

life changes with every step we take..not for good or bad..but it changes......changes in a way where past looks distant and u r embraced by the present in such a way where future looks far fetched.....well, without changes even ......this feeling occurs to every human being..may b..may not b .....neways....

suddenly am reminded of the days when i first came to this "City of Joy"...was literally new to everything and every places.....and then......seriously had no idea...that i was here to live at least for a stretch of five years.....may b more.....

still remember those people of whom some became friends and some stand as strangers..just within a span of half a decade.

University campus, P.G, classes and a trip or two to some of the acquaintance's place, all these and everything trivial was among the chores of the day. Too busy, buying fags from the cigg shop outside the gate, attending classes with drooling eyes, ears tightly shut down to the worldly affairs and the lessons being taught, or simply swaying away time talking to people, visiting the canteen, numerous "bhaars of taltale cha" as we called..but could never think of going to some other tea stall. so this were the 14 hours spent in the campus and then the rest 10 hours in the P.G room....... sleeping or remembering the past hours or contemplating a story to be told in the adda session tomorrow........and wat not......looking to those faraway stars with radios glued to the ears, for all other were asleep at mere 3'o clock in the night.

may b the days ended in a continuation....

this life had to end...it ended....not at all was it a surprise... for demanding a bliss for two years is more than any happiness that u cn expect frm the unseen fate.

Guess the hang up continued for another 6 mnths or an year......this was the period where life got acquainted with somethng that ppl said "makes one's life"......campus cldnt allure much those days....some 45 mins trip was somethng that i looked forward to whn the days started and ended just in a blink......well, the episode too ended in a blink..... though not much to remember, regret or fel too good or happy about....but definitely was an expeirnece in itself......and then the feeling of "losing the priceless" was hurting..but as they said....and i too accepted...."nothing special"...happens to all....though cldnt really said...."was special to me"...fr everythng u feel or see for the first time definitely leaves a deep impact...good or bad....but it does....and as usual life moved on ...to c brighter days moulded in a darker clay pot.....

thn came the days of some serious works and fun intertwined......enjoyed the times..undoubtedly.....

but somehwere down the line..it feels.....life definitely moved on with unintentional and carefully careless grace but feelings and emotions could have stayed the way it was.....bland is somethng that hurts u less, apparently...but for the feelings as it is ingrained ...nothin really gets off.....only life becomes a bit difficult....while posing with a facade and without it..though at rare occasions.......

make yourself indispensable for the one who uses you

2008-06-29T10:50:00.001+05:30

Ok…It feels much weird to write on something or anything at this odd hour…its almost 2 a.m….but I just feel like scribbling down that is running through my mind rite now….i dnt know whether it will work as a token of my irritation or just stand as a testimony of the present hour in the future…bt yes I feel like writing and therefore I will write it……the radio plays…….”Woman” and I am enjoying every single bit of it……..

This time I have pledged not to write on anything that hurts me….rather I want to give a bang on answer to everything that hurts me and that bothers me…..i know writing this wnt stop me from bothering any more or any less…….bt simply..i will scribble down because I feel like writing just at this moment ….and I know I will write this whole thng on an equally stubborn and stern note….. yes, consciously enough……

Look….if you think some one is using u……only make it a point to make urself indispensable fr thm throughout their life……..none of the bastards hav ever been happy and therefore they wnt make u either…..they are a bunch of problem roaming around and making the whole situation worse fr one and all….and u r no exception……

If they want to walk over you….make yourself their “feet”……….where you make them walk and make them stop…..where if u r injured, your amputation makes them not only feel, but truly handicap…..

If they want to hold u back…make yourself “water”…..so that u dnt stand bt ur flowing away definitely makes it a point to make them feel…that something is flowing, moving away….bt at the end of the day whn thy complain abt your not being wth them….ask them to feel their wet hands……..u cn no way better teach them a lesson……for their lies and meaningless craps….this cn possibly b the correct and well deserved answer and a slap on their face……

If they want to feel u……..make yourself their senses…..…. they are then just a “null” without u…..just an “object” as they made u feel and as they have treated u……….

I know every person reading this mite consider me unsound…….but…..who cares man……no point bothering on tags frm ppl who really dnt know their existence as a “human” …..……

Bt at the end I wld like to say…. anybody…who thnk this to b a possibly right answer to all the tantrums fr their ever-more nagging “companies”….let me tell u that at the end of the day…u will have to struggle harder to prove yourself in any of the above possible way…so better remain to them as u r……and keep on giving into their tantrums……coz at the end of th day……they are too insensitive to feel even this change…..

And always remember……its nt that the nxt will b better……they all wl b the same…..coz they are rightly termed “insensitive” …….they wll cntnue to b the same….bt if ever u feel tired….just “FUCK THEM OFF” to get ur sanity revived….

BUT………..

If they at all care fr u and love u…..which is rare bt possible……love them and care fr them the most…..that will definitely give u more satisfaction than anything else….

"Compare"isons

2008-06-09T22:01:00.001+05:30

Places r neither bad nor good........ppl arnd make it so....compare was once a place we cldnt think our life without...but today we want our life to move on without being a part of it...

no. no.......i just wrote these lines....dnt know xactly y.....may b because after everything, we cannot just really forget days spent at "compare" (irrespective of all that started being bad and getting worse)... and end of being "colleagues" as every old face moving past........ :-)

This journey has been quite a significant one in my life...started on april 9th, 2007, and i was all so ga-ga and could boast about the fact that i go to work in a place that is full of young souls and like minded people.

Started this journey in a state transport bus...(but...journey to compare just not stop here for me...it has lot more to say, but in the next post may b.. :-)] ...and yes it was the first day that my sandal's strap gave way as soon as i got down from the bus...all perplexed and at a loss.....managed a cobbler and got the sandal mend and then entered the office 15 minutes late than the stipulated time...thank god and luckily...administration didnt really notice that because till then i didnt get my log in i.d...so the day was managed pretty well...so, the journey started 15 minutes late.....and had so much in store.....

All new faces, some known though..as they were from Jadavpur university. But what impressed me most and made me happy was that none of them i saw was sitting gloomy......very jovial and all laughing and sharing talks....no idea what the talks were all about...but soon got the idea as i also became an active member of the "lets take a break and talk and gosssip "...needless to say girls outnumbered the boys in this job, at the same time it would be wise to mention number of female employees outnumbered the male employees here in this organization.......so there you get the hint...yes here in this office everyone was so friendly and interested in everything that everyone participated in everything together....cursed everything together...laughed at evrything together and yes "sulked" at times nevertheless. no one was really ina state as to not know wat the other person in the office is doing , in every sense.....yes.....and believe me it was fun and every one was so open about their being that it made this work place really a delight to be...........................

Being a member of a team, learning the trade and offcourse..the tricks.....knowing the people around....yes, i repeat, it was "Fun", it was all about feeling good.....it was all about being happy.. yes...... together.

But as it is said........bad times are never for ever..........in this context it can well be said...neither are good times forever........yes, things had to change...it started changing and it changed......good that things change......change brings in a new beginning..................but sadly, i dnt thing the changes that this company went through and is going through can be appreciated much.......(and i think people whoever can relate to this write up thinks in the same way).

i repeat with a modification..........."compare was once a place we cldnt (didnt wanted to) think our life without...but today we want our life to move on (completely) without being a part of it..."................

Incomparably Jinxed

2008-04-22T12:52:00.001+05:30

Keeping the present job scenario and the state of mind I am in, it seems as if I personify discomfort, irritation, unwillingness to do anything productive and meaningful and short temper.

If I sit to analyze and pen down the causes of “can’t live without such feelings at present” will be too boring and repulsive for any of the readers visiting my blog. Having said this I just realized, my sole intention of creating this blog is to let people know the reasons as to what has motivated me to become such an “irritated being”.

First and foremost My Workplace - which is a place full of people who can bring the shit out of you yet can act smart as if the responsibility of declaring the third world war lies on their shoulder. They have gained expertise in throwing meaningless challenges and then expecting you to face them with all bravery and cent percent positive outlook. On accepting such challenges, they think is your will to work and strength to face difficulties lie….which I consider is all “Bull Shit”……Now before, I portray myself as a person who hate to take challenges, (which is true, may be to some extent and moreover which I have acquired after working in this stable) it will be better to mention the types of challenges that are thrown,

i) Ability to work (happily and satisfactorily) without salary for more than a month or two.

ii) Putting you in an air conditioned meeting room to listen to all shits, like,

a) don’t drink too much of coffee
b) don’t use toilet paper without any urgent need
c) enhance your productivity even if you are not being paid
d) Lying on the fact of your salary being credited
e) And many such “Food for Thought”..that they utter to keep the office rolling and giving you false hope on many such important issues

Now having said all this, one can simply come up with a question, as to why don’t I change my Job, if the place is so sick. Or, y am I complaining so much.

I have my answer to it….

I am trying several places since ages, but as I don’t know much of technicalities I am not able to change my present profession with a few basic changes, because as my company promised me will teach some, but ended up in directing me, (and not only me, every single person working here) to write travelogues on Microsoft Word, for those who are lucky and for those unlucky again, its Open Office, for them.

Okk…..now do u know y aren’t people provided Microsoft Word……because… (hold your breath. …….The company claims itself to be an IT company, has office in Saltlake Sector 5 in Kolkata..(will b better if I dont mention other places where the goddamned company management claims to have an office) do not have enough revenue to buy Microsoft Words License………this is the truth…….the story is given in a way, as if Bill Gates is personally known to the high ups of our company and shares a bad rapport for reasons those r obvious enough to share a bitter relation……..

With an experience of working here for an year now, I am TIRED and SICK of this place.

So, beautiful is my office……….i Loooove the place…….no complains ok…….if u want a job here….forward me ur CV.. i will definitely forward it to the Hell……..and there will start our hatred and dislike for each other…….(hatred and disliking are understatement in this case…take my words)………

More wrath to come…..in between u can also expect some funny stuff……where I might talk about myself….. :P:P