Warm Fragrance

Fragrance of winter winds, moisturisers, of those packed woollens..like those napthalene balls lending the woollens their warmth, the fragrance of warmth, of closeness, of nearness, of love that keeps life going in the otherwise chill.

The onset of winter with its characterised morning sun invading the warm intimacies of  lip-locked lovers in arms....and the day rolls in.


The winter afternoon with its warm touch..like someone standing by you, holding your hand, assuring you the pleasure of togetherness and with the clock ticking toward the day's end, the fading sun caressing smoothly like lovers walking down a sun-washed alley to part for the day before their next meet, with a gentle kiss stamping their departure and a gentle touch holding a promise to meet soon....and the sun rolls down...

Blisss..phhhh

Blissful

Drinking to the tee…drinking like never before and like there’s no tomorrow and enjoying it to the core as always. With ever increasing waist line and then as any sane person would do, blowing up the rest of the meager earned honey called money in shopping.

Not so Blissful

Other activities largely comprises of watching movies...Bollywood Loyalist...you see... no matter how much I crib and cry after watching those shit-spattered on the screen, my Fridays remain incomplete without having gone through that shit splash once a week. You despise me...I DO NOT give a DAMN.

Falling in love with the sea over and over again is not something that I can get over with in this life at least. Bombay looks good with its scorching sun in November and the awkward November Rains.

 Lovingggggg It.. J

Where From and Where To !!

The 'Notion' of "Pujo-Merriment" ends for this year. The last four days were spent amidst certain issues that worried me, certain gathering where i laughed to welcome the dawn and certain incidents that got etched in those dark memory chambers. 'Pleasurable' it was in its own way. Amidst friends and laughter many were remembered and missed till the dream of a faraway bejeweled city trampled the silence of the night. 'She' leaving for abode wrenches my heart even today. Logical explanation strongly proclaims that the 'reason to leave' is to 'return soon'. The idols with which i shared my deepest secrets and to whom i murmured my prayers will again sink in the murkiness of the monotonous fight to Survive.

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I again read Love Story, Heidi and Jungle Book. This time while i held these books and moved my eyes through the soft words,  the greyness of aging or the speed of raging towards an uncertain future stared hard. The glaring truth of having strained relationship with 'Innocence' and leaving the sense of excitement of being able to relate with the protagonists far behind, posed question about why can't these pieces be enjoyed with the same enthusiasm as was possible ten or fifteen years back?! As an answer I will go back to keep these books in my school library, where i got acquainted with the most enjoyable music of life... 'the hushed humming of my classmates' and then will go and stand by the side of the lake where the setting sun imparts the most vibrant hue to welcome the bright moon and the twinkling stars. I will leave these books on the grass by that lake where open eyed dreams knew what a soul mate is.

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Twelve years: left Daltonganj. A small, uncivilized, barbaric town in Jharkhand. Yes, the adjectives perfectly define the place, but sadly not as per my belief. How can I?! The hot afternoon loo taught me that 'unbearable' is just a word, everything has a soothing presence about itself. Had it not been so hot, could i have ever known what fun it was to sit with cousins and play tell-a-tale under the staircase! The chilly winter breeze silenced me with its gift when questioned about its pinch on the bare skin. It whispered in my ear that had it been not the way it is,how would i have enjoyed the bliss of those morning dew. The swelled up river Koel never stood by me and always encouraged me to flow along with.

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Blurred Vision

..and you HAVE to say  this and you turn around with that ‘gossip’ urge just to realize, its a different office, different environment, different people and then you turn to the screen and log on to g-chat and see that green blob beside the name with whom you wanted to share it..but the excitement-of-the-moment-and-matter is gone.

...and you want to sip some coffee and chat and laugh it out loud and bitch and after you have dialled, the phone rings and you realize the geographical distance between, but then you continue to talk some irrelevant stuff while trying to fight the distance.

...and you have that ‘blank expression’ on your face after coming out of the theatre, and on gauging the ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ of the expression you miss words like ‘and this awesomeness calls for a celebration’.. or ‘ we really need to treat ourselves for going through such a pain’... and in either cases you head to one of your favourite places on earth or its just Someplace Else.

Forwarded SMS vs. The Quilt .. ;-D

May be it wasn't necessary to discuss certain things...

It wan't at all necessary to tread down the memory lane and ask whether he remembered their first outing together!

It wasn't at all necessary to let him know that it felt bad when he took immense pleasure and got his ego boosted up with those frequent 'silent treatments'

It was not at all necessary to let him know that she remembered certain dates more than she could remember her first salary date/month and year

But it was necessary for her to get the fact reinstated that it was a deal sealed for enjoying certain physical intimacies.. she gave in "whole-'heart'edly" and he was there with all his might...

It was necessary to enjoy a certain thing with him and for once...'His Silence', which boomeranged on to him when he was casually being questioned initially and then he fell into the trap. She could almost see him crave for a shelter to save himself from the fury of the questions which she never intended to ask otherwise.

For once she made him suffer in his own 'Silence'. She gave a shit about the 'self-pity' reply from him, which read, "Honestly, I am to be blamed". She knew that she had nailed him atop, she knew it was like a conscious mind and brain going through the sheer pain of an amputated feet and hands.

One last sms she wrote, "Will be meeting Kruti over a coffee tomorrow. she want to tell me about the guy she is recently going around with, coincidentally, the guy's your namesake."

To this he sweated in the dark and cold silence of his room and she slipped into the warmth of her quilt while switching her phone into the silent mode with a smile and thanked some one for the meaninglessness of these stupid forwarded sms. Someone was caught tight and unalarmingly by sending a fake 'emotion evoking' forwarded sms.

Next morning she woke up to see 88 missed calls from the same number, her day started with a bout of laughter... for she knew not any Kruti in this whole universe.

Shower and Smile.. :)

A few things first:

I love noticing the numbers ascending beside the word 'comment'..but i get equally disheartened when i land in there all-exited just to realize that i don't know the language... :(.. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart hoping that you have appreciated my writing.. :)..but if you care to discontinue you will be even more appreciated for not leading me to a 'hope-n-miss' case.

I changed the template and the font and that motivated me to write today.

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Me in Bombay...for good...having a good time in the new office, loving the work which is similar to what i did long time back and i am enjoying this to the core.

Meeting old friends, chatting, catching up from where we left some ten, seven and two years back, making new friends.

Exploring areas, getting lost, missing the obvious turns to reach certain places, staring hard at the bus route no. and destination written, standing for hours at some stoppage or stations simply to observe the motion, it feels good.

Running to the terrace at midnight, awake from a sleep, to enjoy the silence in an otherwise not-so-silent city, it feels great.

Decorating the room with all stuff which never appeared so dear before...a beautiful room but not yet as warm as the one at 95, southern avenue...one thing that never went out of my mind for a nano second since i have left the city.

Shuffling the radio stations to know the programs by time and station. i miss the 'familiar' voices.

The frequent drizzle, present-continuous rains, flickering sun, steady moon and the absent stars make my day.

Thus were my last 30 days...hope to have more of such experiences. :)

P.S: Not getting over 95, Southern Avenue, Lake Road Barista, Sector V, Park Street, Boulevard Swimming Pool, Deshapriya Park, South City is not that i am sad about or i crib... but with these memories i walk to get a glimpse of the city which i am sure will be as much familiar in the coming years..

I Remember the Day ..

..started with appreciating the western ghats, streams, tunnels, winding roads and rails, greenery and the dried patches, the serpentine rails and then a sudden realization with an awe.... "Gosh, as soon as this scenic stretch ends, i will find myself in a new place, with new faces all around, away from everything known to the core".

i remember making an unreal, impractical wish: The train should move on with its whistle blowing and tearing apart the fear of the unknown, let this be a journey with no destination.

Reality: The train stopped...yes it did and i was standing amidst everything new with a new found enthusiasm, a new hope to live it up to the fullest..with a new realization.I was embraced by the so called unknown and i realized that i was living a dream tucked faraway.

Thought: Will i be there again and this time will I get a chance to embrace what embraced me an year and a half ago.. !!!!...I Wish..