Will Sparkle Forever!

A sudden whiff of a strange weird thought. But think of it, it’s some thing that affects each one of us everyday in someway or the other – the sense of Loss – Death. A term that takes away from us something very dear, very familiar.

This struck me very distinctly with the news of Farooque Shaikh passing away. Instant reaction, must be someone I don’t know. A second reaction, how? A third and so on and so forth as news kept coming and confirming that it was this actor, whom we always praised both as an actor and a person, but never spoke of it so verbally as we are doing now. Later, i also thought about his family. What the family must be going through. A healthy, hearty person goes to Dubai for a concert, with his family, and a few days later the family returns without him. It’s scary, incomprehensible.

While mulling over the news, I started to think about him in terms of what he did best and was widely known for, Acting. I distinctly remember watching him first in ‘Katha’, which was aired on Doordarshan. To which, I remember my aunt’s reaction to Farooque Shaikh’s character – ‘issh, erom lok hoyeche keno? Onno shob chobi te ki bhalo bhalo paat kore’ (why is he playing such a character, he is such a nice person in all other films.) She was not liking the fact that Farooque Shaikh, an actor with an established image of a next door, well-behaved neighbour, someone who would never go wrong by principle & choice, was playing such a character. This, I’m saying gauging the impact that reel has on real life.

Taking the point from here, I also thought of many such artists who we have known through our parents; and to sit and reflect back, most of them died in the past 4-5 years. People whom we knew and grew up to only to admire & respect, leaves all of a sudden, and that struck.

There were these set of artists about whom my father would selflessly and forcefully pitch for. They were the icons he grew up with. He, given the bleakest opportunity would praise and show his fondness and respect for Dilip Kumar, Raj Kapoor & Dev Anand over Amitabh Bachchan and Sashi Kapoor, Sachin Dev Burman over Rahul Dev Burman, Md. Rafi & Mukesh over Kishore Kumar and so on and so forth. With progress of time and era, even the lesser preferred artists in the above equation were GOD when compared to the ilk of the modern day artists, who were, the Khans, the Maliks, the Sanus & so on. But, keeping judgement aside, our choice and taste are influenced by the contemporaries, which, as we grow keep changing and evolving to eventually die down.

I’m saying all this because of the number of deaths we have heard in the last five years. We have heard, known and learnt about them from our previous generation, they actually belonged to that generation. Still, we relate to them so much that news of death does leave in us a sense, a realization of irreplaceable, irreparable loss. In that case, how do our parents feel about these losses? What’s the magnitude of void that they experience? How difficult is it for them to hear and accept such news? Do these news create in them a sense of despair and helplessness of having to face an inescapable truth – sooner or later! Do they long to go back to the times when only the characters died but the players evolved successful!

Sooner or later, such a day would dawn on us too. We would wake up to hear that our screen icons are no more. They have left back only reels of memory and would never ever play a character whom we would get a chance to despise or admire. How will we deal with that?

Everything cannot be  put in words, but the best that one can do is to live the moment, ease out, be content, do good and make merry – for Life, is not what you can plan.

VIBGYOR

Holi from my childhood days are something i envy today, needless to mention there are a line up of many miore such days.

On this day then i used to wake up early in the morning and hunted out that old and withered frilled white frock. Morning was about gulping some interesting breakfast. Soon after, i used to run down to the "laal-bari" to join my cousins for the occassion. All gathered with our choice of colors, splashes of colors on the frock, all merry and tireless, the morning went in a jiffy. Evenings were equally interesting with parents joining the gang with "abir". Abir smelt air and the evening sky colored looked brighter with the brightest of colors.

Years went by and the days changed, went to Hazaribagh.  Celebration was equally exciting but lacked the grandeur. Absence of 9 cousins to play Holi with, the number came down to 1, and i still remember something from those days. A mean gesture rather. Amidst examinations, I was sitting sad. He came up with his palms painted in green and smeared the color on my face from behind, pissed, i didnt enjoy it. I went crazy and  screamed at him, went and washed my face rite away...i still regret that behaviour of mine. With an opportunity anytime in future, i would take it all in mirth. Promise :)

Then days were brighter and the boundaries opened beyond the gathering of 9 cousins. I was a hosteller at the Banaras Hindhu University. Hundreds of girls of more or less the same age..but that's the age where people are serious about their being seniors and juniors than any other thing under the sun, but Holi was one leveler. On this day there were no restrictions and orders took a back seat. The water reservoir under the fountain was filled with water and the color of the water changed in seconds, after playing colors for hours, amidst the examination months, we were treated with special lunch. It was fun..Undoubtedly

Years older. Jadavpur University. Not much to be said, but colors were played more on the day before the occassion than on the day.

Since then, only a year or two, i celebrated Holi, but honestly not as heartily. Sometime later, it was on Holi, i.went to a friend's place, while returning a girl on the road sprayed color on me, i was more than happy, i was reminded of my frilled frocks.

Then, Days started shedding off colors. Nevertheless, with all fun and memories, this day brings in a sign of hope, a dream of coloring the world in our own bright way.

HAPPY HOLI.. :)

I Remember the Day ..

..started with appreciating the western ghats, streams, tunnels, winding roads and rails, greenery and the dried patches, the serpentine rails and then a sudden realization with an awe.... "Gosh, as soon as this scenic stretch ends, i will find myself in a new place, with new faces all around, away from everything known to the core".

i remember making an unreal, impractical wish: The train should move on with its whistle blowing and tearing apart the fear of the unknown, let this be a journey with no destination.

Reality: The train stopped...yes it did and i was standing amidst everything new with a new found enthusiasm, a new hope to live it up to the fullest..with a new realization.I was embraced by the so called unknown and i realized that i was living a dream tucked faraway.

Thought: Will i be there again and this time will I get a chance to embrace what embraced me an year and a half ago.. !!!!...I Wish..

What goes around comes around

Disclaimer: This is a long long post

Circa 2000

Location: Varanasi

Setting: In a room, some 4-5 girls giggling, talking non-sense and trying to make the most of a hot sunday afternoon

Status:Hosteler/student

Roommate(RM)(opens the door with a bang and screams in): My boyfriend is coming...yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Me: ohh..who?

RM: (Silence) Gives me a look.

Me: no, i mean...which one?

RM: A dirtier look (The rest: falls apart laughing)

Me: No i mean...

RM: ....Can you please try to understand and then speak?

Me: yeah.... i'm trying to....

RM: (snaps in) My BOYFRIEND is coming from Hyderabad

Me: ohh..you have big connections..!!

RM: ohh..yes man, i worked (read: gave in a lot of effort) on it...he studies in Hyderabad and visits his parents in Dubai and will be going for his Masters in the US of A and is coming to visit his girlfriend in Varanasi. (the last part of the sentence goes with an elan)

Me: ohh woow...Globe trotter

RM: well, girls(Addresses to all in the room), i need your help...i need the best Sari, need to wear the best make-up and i need to look "GORGEOUS"...you understand??

(Turns to me), Can you please lend me that white sari with golden zari and motifs all over???

Me: (Zapped..no idea of what this storm has struck)..ohh..yeah..definitely (someone rightly said: Charity begins at home)

RM: and i think your blouse will fit me fine.

One of the rest: if not, you can stitch it in...(yaa..she has to make this point clear that my RM has got the best figure...ohh yes these are the words most needed to boost one's confidence and morale at such *fate-changing* situation)

RM to the rest: and i need to check your make-up box for the right shade of lipstick

Me: but why so much...i mean you can be in your t-shirt and jeans, rite!!

RM: Can you please keep shut and stop giving your expert comments???? and yes ..you will help me with wearing the Saree.

ME: *that will sure be an event*..oohh..yess...

The Day:

RM woke up at some 5-5.30 am, me still snoring, she wakes me up with a direct hit on my bum..me with half opened/half closed eyes, seeing her bathed so early scared the hell out of me..

Me: Good morning, y did u take a bath so early? you will catch cold.

RM: stop the shit and help me, now get up, dn't be so lazy...the train is running on time

Me: ohh yes..while wrapping the saree (not getting an iota of "What is this Happening!!!!"..I need to change my room..my roommate has taken a bath before 6 am...)

Finally, after 30 good minutes..she is ready, she is wearing a saree, matched accessories, the right shade of lipstick and yes she is looking beautiful..err.."GORGEOUS"

RM: How am i looking?

Me: yeaah..Beautiful..i mean damn beautiful...he wont get much chance to appreciate the Holy Ganges and the Ghats.

RM:..hmm...anyways...will beback by 7 p.m.

Me (thinking):*12 hrs...wnt u get bored?!*( but then at times you need to keep your thoughts as thoughts and should not speak out...good..i am learning things.)

off to sleep, wake up at 1..room empty..obviously missed the breakfast..good that i woke up now..its lunch time and i won't die hungry.

1800hrs: All "loosers" (read: people without boyfriends) sitting by the fountain, gossiping, munching,bitching.

1900hrs: Almost dark and i scream...hey..who is that beautiful lady at the gate..cant b anyone's mother..looks too hot and young..may b someone's didi..whose?? No one in our campus looks like having such a pretty lineage...!!!

Some one from the group hits me and says: You blind bitch, she is your room mate

Me: oh yes..come lets go to the room.... stories enough to spend the whole night..we must start early...tomorrow is Monday...

We all along with my "Pretty Roomy" heading towards the room, all eyes set on her...some making her feel like a "Queen" and i am there to welcome her by un-latching the door.

All sitting, the Queen starts. (Though not looking much enthusiastic about the whole affair.)

Me: Are you tired or something..then we can wait till tomorrow evening to get the gossip..or if its too late for you to hold on we can spend the night gossiping. so you can take rest now

RM: *Furious* wattt??? you said that word "Gossip"...i mean how can you.......(continues till the room is relatively empty and i am the only one in the front standing unarmed). Anyways..seems like we will have to wait...

22oo hrs and as planned..again all around...my Roomy/the Queen..me playing the host to orders like...."Zara paani dena/ biscuit hai tumhare room mein/ Mixture/ Pickles...to all questions my one word answer "No"...some says..."Sali kya bhikhari hai re tu log!!!!!"and my roomy just couldnt take that and turns to me and says, look there in my bag are two Dairy Milk Chocolate..get those. 'ohh..so didnt u remember that when everyone left in the evening and i was faking to study hard to escape your verbal wrath!!!!.'

RM: Okk...girls are you interested to know wat happened?

In Unison: man, we cant wait anymore. 'what you think we all are here to admire you sitting between us just like that?? what goes wrong with people in love???'

RM narrating all the events that took place between 700hrs-1800hrs, which includes a warm welcome, a tight hug, booking a hotel room saying "We are couple"and that was the "High" (me thinks), some sweet-nothings, stroll to the ghats and nearby parks, gala lunch, back to the park, some coochy-cooing, an open-air discussion and to digest that extra calorie intake (here comes the twist) and finally, bidding that Bollywood style Goodbye.

well...to cut a long story short: What happened is, when they were sitting in the park coochy-cooing and were just trying to be cozy, as in a bit more cozy, as in so cozy that each other were feeling each other's breath, my RM saw some creepy creatures standing witness to their "sweet act" (sweet because not-so-adult and public distracting), and the creepy creature on witnessing the love birds, actually could not restrain itslef and witha strong desire to be a third party in the whole act started wriggling towards them...and when i say creepy, i mean creepy...i also mean crawling, i also mean wriggling.

Me: (on hearing this, jump off the bed...and animatedly screams) "WAT!!!"...and you were so near, i mean to "it"and not to "him"!!! and you are still alive????

RM: yes, (and goes into a bharatiya nari mode) yes, i was sitting there and to my dismay i saw him running away like a mad dog. (eyes almost red and moist)

me almost loosing sense, both on hearing the creepy story and on seeing the red eyes.

Me: Trying to ease the situation and all trying to console my RM for the *inappropriate* act that sjhe was subjected to..and i again come out with my smart opinion

Good that he ran away, you should have done the same, why were you sitting there...did you go cold?? i mean that would have been an awkward accident girl.

RM: Yes, it was awkward, i never thought he will run away leaving me in such a state. he could have atleast held my hands and then we both could have ran together.

Held my hands, ran together- Can real life be so filmy??? What did you expect??The wriggly creature intervenes and you sit there for someone lending you his hand???

My all enthusiam down the drain, as i see people consoling and my roomy in tears, well, some different thoughts running in my mind altogether: Man, all these bitches will leave and i will have to remain wide awake providing tissues??? Finally, as expected everyone leaves, and again i play the real good host bidding everyone good-bye and gesturing as if i will console her just in a second. Deep down only i know, how nervous i was...infact more than the roomy who went "cold" on seeing the wriggly creature.

Me: (Upfront) Look you should not worry and cry like this, i think (now i have to be articulate, i thought)..i mean...yes..i mean..wat he did was what we call "Respond to stimuli" but yes, he could have pulled you *your fat ass* along with.

She continues with her sob and tears, in all that bollywood style and after trying to console her for almost 15 mins, i give up and straight i shoot.

Look, if you think he shld have done according to wat you had expected and that gives you a feeling, that he is not "So-caring" a BOYFRIEND and that you have lost faith/trust..then speak to him about this and if he gives a shrug kind of an answer...give your "Globe-Trotting" relationship a CALL.

RM: Why do you have to jump to a black and white conclusion evrytime??? (RM: eyes big, tears gone, back to normal self.

Me: Jump into my bed and under the cover thinking, i should have given this dose long back to stop myself from getting so panicked.)

Next evening RM goes straight to the cyber cafe, gets him online and then scares the shit out of him by throwing words...emotional, sentimental, i loved you so much, i care for you so much and stuff and to my utter disbelief i heard her saying me "I gave HIM the DOSE, you gave me yesternight". :O

ME: ohh..okkk....as timidly as one can say...hope that worked....

RM: Yes Big time...

Circa 2005

Location: Kolkata

No special dress, a jeans and a kurta may be if not a t-shirt. (tsk..i dnt even remeber..how mean)

Setting: A couple sitting in one of the many parks in Kolkata.

and as it has to be...when you are seeing someone as a boyfriend..you need to do those coochy-cooing and sweet nothings..or else once again you "Did-not-do-as-expected".

and there we are...almost..kind of almost feeling each others breath and trying to feel more of it.may be... though i didnt spray any mouth freshner...but then love is not only blind it can take the sense out of you...

so almost close and then i think..when two human beings are so close, facially, its looks more feminine, i guess, to close your eyes, this is what i have learnt from Bollywood movies and Mills and Boon.

Me almost in the dilema of closing or not closing my eyes, i saw the pair of eyes in front of me opened and next moment i heard a scream...

yes, very obviously so, because moment i turn around i see a Black, standing on four feet, smelling of God-knows-what Buffalo...it was at a centimeter distance from me. Again when i look in front, i see a familiar face, who was almost at the same centimeter distance a few minutes back is standing miles away.

Me, the smart ass that i am, i start laughing uncontrollably...and finally, it sits beside me with a thump....

Luck and Fate, you are born with...

Not to say it, but just in case, for your reference: Till date i have not said this to my RM and i definitely dnt intend to say...cause then i will be hit with words which will faint me to death. Good that she is not here in the blogospehere....well, to hide from one, i said it to the world....

P.S: I do not intend to demean any of the people or the animals who played their interesting role in my life...never.

It's all in the Blood

Past: Born and brought up in a joint family and in a place which was (in fact, is still)deprived of all the blessing and curse of a city...

Present: Trying to make a living in this ever changing and fleeting moments of a faster life, trying to match steps with all running on one of those tracks.

Reaction: I feel so good and proud, first that i have a treasure of such a serene, soothing childhood.

Second, Atleast i am getting to know and learn the art to face and fight the ever intruding changes to make a mark somewhere, if no where atleast to myself.

ok..from here i take a different route altogether. As it is, people in every walk of life get to meet people and trust me on this when i say, each and every one leaves a mark on your dairy in one way or the other..well that is on a bigger canvas, on a smaller canvas and from what i have heard about myself from different people and then when i think from where did i acquire all these traits..i make a note of these people who come to my mind..

In context to the past and present:

Acquired from Grandfather: Ability to remember dates. (birthday, anniversaries and just a combination of a day and month...) but that doesn't mean i scored well in History as a student.

Past: Remembered birthdays and anniversaries of all persons alive or dead in the family and of the over-extended family.

Present: I remember dates and days on the basis of my attendance in the office, if i am at the office, it means its a weekday, if not it means a weekend.

Acquired from Grandmother: The "Laughter"

Past: People could locate me anywhere from that loud giggling laughter and therefore my cousins never wanted me to be there in the team while playing "Hide and Seek".

Present: The "Laughter" still intact...at times to forget the stress and at times to be in that most important "i am still in sync". (basically a self consolatory thing)

Acquired from father: "Lost in my own world"

Past: Lost in my own world, i ended up doing several positive and productive things, which included "study". I never scored less than an 95% till std. VII.

Present: Which i think started may be after VII std., i end up thinking what and what not. but no positive result to it, often "lost in my own world" means a "Blank-head".

Acquired from mother: Hand-writing

Past: Till std. X, if not for anything i was the uncontested student when it came to hand-writing. Each and every teacher knew me and still remember me for my hand-writng.

Present: Thankyou Microsoft Office, you have left me with no option. Handwriting now means making the monthly grocery list...if someone else carries the list to the shop, they end up buying only half of the things mentioned in the list.

Acquired from Mejo-kaka(uncle): Spic and span

Past: If for anything, no one could raise finger at me for an untidy room, study table, dress..whatever

Present: Cleaning house is a weekly affair now.

Acquired from Sejo-kaka: Quiet and Calm

Past: Apart from the "laughter" if i was made to sit somewhere, one can find me in the same place even after hours. No screaming and shouting-but yes, this was an early childhood trait, it changed over the years. :D

Present: Ask me to sit in a place and blink...i am gone.. :D

Acquired from Choto-kaka: May be the "vocal-chord"

Past: I used to sing for myself when i was not sleepy and then gradually the song stopped and everybody knew i was in my dream land.

Present: I think my memory does a better job of remembering songs...i dnt know if at all my vocal-chord will do any more justice to music.

Well, these are 1 trait from each family members which came to my mind while typing...and all the aunts, may be i dnt have a blood tie with you poeple but you people were always there and have taught me things which my mother might have not succeeded in doing alone to this stubborn girl.

Thank you all for that wonderful childhood i have had.

Not that evrything was good in the past and everything is dark at present...but this was just like a snippet how life has changed and you know, past always looks better in yearn for a brighter future..naa!!!

Those Sunday Afternoon

Another Friday and then weekend...a Hurray....Saturday and Sunday....wow...two days...48 hours...no routine....be as you want to be....do what you want to do....

Today all of a sudden, memories of by-gone saturdays and sundays came to my mind....I was born and brought up in Daltonganj, Palamau, now in Jharkhand. A land to which bengalis (west-Bengal) can well relate to. The *(in)famous jungles (Betla Forest), pleasant weather, sparkling river(Koel), the red, sticky mud, scent of the mohua trees and flowers, beautiful sceneries and all that which nature could bestow to make a land look like a Queen.

Sundays till 2000 :-

We (cousins) used to wait for the sundays impatiently, the weekdays didn't pass by as it passes by today, saturdays never appeared in a blink after the routined home-office journeys from mondays to fridays. Saturdays, although, we had our "half-day" at school but that heightened the exitement for the weekend sojourn that started there-after.

Back from school at around 11, and during the summer, our afternoon activities didn't leave a single green mangoes on the trees. Some tried plucking mangoes by throwing stones and some technically superior mates used "Gulti" to get a sure shot at the desired target. For people who belonged to my category, plucking mangoes was easier as we could afford to select the most "fruit-full" branch of the tree, and therefore, choosing and getting the best among the lot was just about taking the risk to climb safe and thereafter the descending from the tree with bruised legs were not much to ponder over. We had a loyal company in this venture, "Jimmy" who would guard each tree from any tresspassers (sabji-waali, gowala to be specific) all round the week. The task of collecting the mangoes and then distributing among some younger cousins (cousins who were too small to climb or make a shot but stood under the tree with unfailing eagerness and enthusiasm) was more of a "responsible and elderly task". The mangoes were kept in the jhoori and would be left peaceful for the next day "EVENT".

The next day event would start in the late afternoon after having the dleicious "MANGSHO_BHAAT" for lunch and thereafter when parents and all elder members of the family drooled in the ecstacy of a summer afternoon nap, we cousins would take the charge of the "Ranna-ghor (kitchen) and the "Bhanrar-ghor"(store). The elder cousins took the task of peeling and cutting the mangoes and the younger ran to and fro the ranna ghor and bhnarar ghor to bring in the ingredients to prepare the most awaited finger-licking mango preparation. Ingredients to be brought in to prepare the juiciest of "aam-er chaat" included salt, red-chilly powder, Turmeric powder, tamarind (paste) and all that to make the preparation tasty and mouth-watering.

It was almost 4 by the time our Mango-chatka session got over and then we would sit near the main door under the stair and keep our ears open to a sound which yelled "KUUUUUUULFIIIIIIII Malai"....moment we heard this voice, all with our gathered pocket money, (which was a maximum of 20 rs. gathered from 7 cousins.) we would silently open the door and call the Kulfi-chacha. 20 rs. would get us 4 kulfis as big as the largest cornetto that we get today. The Kulfi-mania was not supposed to be carried on for long as we did this hiddenly. (except for a few days when all the family members would get up to treat themself with one, that was undoubtedly a party affair with 15 members smacking the huge KULFI).

Then at around 5.30-6 was the most awaited and dependent affair. we used to sit hurled in the garden, below the favourite "Gulab-khas" mango tree as it had a bench under it, or some smarter fellow would just run to help "dadabhai or chorda" clean the PRIDE of the town, "A Hoodless Left-hand drive Jeep". The expression on each one of our face while sitting under the tree, was so innocent and a smile so priceless that anyone would die for. At that moment if chorda or dadabhai would have asked us to jump into a well...me think, we would have done so....Needless to say, ALL this for a trip to the "Betla Forest". A 20 km. (25 mins.ride- for the winding and pebbeled road) long ride, would take us to that paradise and then half an hour of pure fun with the monkeys, deer, peacocks, elephants and if luckier, would get an hour long elephant ride into the deep and dark forest with a halogen held overhead.

Ride back home, on the way, chorda/dadabhai would treat us with gorom jilipi and singara at their favourite Chianki bus-stop and then carry a plastic or two of singara and jilipi for the rest of the family members.

The days ended and we slipped into the dream destination only to reluctantly open our eyes in the morning to wait for the week to pass by and again the SATURDAY and SUNDAY to come fast.

*(in)famous jungles (Betla Forest): I say so because now it is really risky to visit the jungle after the sun set. children there no more get a chance to visit the paradise so frequently. the place is unsafe for both the localites and the tourists after a certain time of the day.

KNOTS

simply irritated.......now if that is a perennial state that i am in, i really cannot help...

ppl r getting married at lightning speed, the rate of getting married it seems has left behind the rate of population growth....well, now obviously, these duo's after certain time will definitely join the league of the mass adding to the population as a testimony of their LOVE for each other....if its not only about MAKING things fall apart.....neways, crap as i write.....

........but reason for my irritation is the role that i am playing in the so called pious act....

1) Travel: You travel a hellish distance (having said that i realise may be hell is nearer as i get to catch a sight of the same every day) every weekend to reach the venue on time....mode of transport...obviously some public motor vehicle ......

2) Reach: U reach the venue to discover that there are a lot many people standing either to welcome you heartily, (now i dnt think every one is as good an actor, so i take it as a genuine gesture) or u discover someone standing at a faraway corner who is planning to leave becuase u have arrived or the other way round, i.e, u dnt think it to b a pain to travel all the way back the moment u have landed or reached the venue on seeing that person standing at a corner.

3) Presence: the most difficult task, (at times, when in such a situation, i think, solving arithmetic was lot more easier), you have to continuously sport that realistic fakingly fake smile...and then people who are just about to face that middle-age crisis disaster will rub their hand all over your well done hair-do, even if it is not well done, how does it matter man)...and the next moment you see yourself in the mirror to discover as if your head was borrowed to play some bird's nest.

4) Food: look man coming dwn to the point, well going to a weding if means conveying a grand wish for the future marriage life, well i think i do that even if not verbally......but my well being is something that matters to me the most and therefore FOOD, is something that i look upto with all positive anticipation.......frankly, after that journey, smile, hairdo and stuff...if you dnt get a reward only with good food, i think all my effort went in vain.........


neways......so ppl whoever it is, if i am called at your wedding , plz one and only one request, plz feed me with dishes that would finally meake mt utter the words :HAVE A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE".....

Mumbai Chapter ends..

with a new dawn ...i bid adieu to a chapter which i cherished to the core ....

hey...will miss u all....will miss this place, this city...everything....
....thanks axiom, thanks everybody, thank you mumbai....

Rendezvous with the Queen

May b only a few days to experience the grandeur, the royal majesty of "Her Highness"....well if i can start with quite chronologically, then:

1) Dadar station looked like some station on howrah-bardhaman main line. Bandra sea-shore looked awesome with sunlight gleaming on the silver water.

2) A ride on the famous "Mumbai-Taxi"..a fiat..and then on an auto, which is famous for the meter, watever it reads the commuter has to pay a rupee less...:D.

4) An afternoon in Mumbai...a huge city...HUGE.......but the suburbs look more like some small industrial town and complete in itself. Met Shivek - we were neighbours in that small and warm town, were classmate...after 10 years. First night in Mumbai.....the cold guesthouse....the city didnt sleep though.....

5) First ride in an auto...all alone...went to golu's place....ohh...u can travel a distance with 2o bucks in hand......they said Mumbai is a costly city!!!!!!well..more to c....

6) The reason for a step here and there in this city.... Axiom Education: shouldn't have peeped inside the glitzy curtains....knew something ...which i shldnt have had known then....neways.....but they said...mumbai people r not helpful.....they are snob.....:O:O(misconception and rumour pre-exists human)

7) The days went by....Juhu, Bandstand, Versova, Mud island, Andheri (W), Santa cruz....

8) Food still remains a problem....all the restaurants here serve drinks....i am still to experience.... Hey the "Mumbai lifeline" on weekends are just fine ....well, on weekdays they appear rowdy even to the daily passengers.....come on man..u cannot always look for loopholes....

9) More of you....

10) All the restaurants here serve drinks...mumbai people around make your life easier.....they rock......

11) COLABA, GATEWAY OF INDIA, THE TAJ PALACE HOTEL, THE LEOPALD CAFE, THE RESERVE BANK OF INDIA, THE MUMBAI HIGHCOURT, THE WESTERN RAILWAY HEAD QUARTER, HUTATMA CHOWK...............in Mumbai.....as in the part of the city where i am staying....is it????? the same city????u r not lying rite!!!hey Gorgeous......elegant old lady.....i am loving you.....i am in love.....they say...MUMBAI MERI JAAN!!!!!!!!they say it rite.......

12) Love you ...

13) Hey i looked back .......i think i heard my name.........u gave me all that i needed.....but "HOME-calling"..."Kolkata".

14) I dont know..if ever.....but i wish today.......may be once again....sometime.....may b....but definitely once .... if only once.......i kneel down to your honour

15) Love you....Miss u, i will not..... will be with you.....you will be with me.....

It Rained

Like many other posts..without any reason, base, logic or anything....this practise might describe me......if observed...a creature marching on the earth, without a radar...aimlessly, baselessly, illogically.....well...not to continue on that line...


This time i am trying to jot down memories associated with songs....i am not trying to start in any chronological order, rather as it comes to my jagged memory.


Rite at this point of time, i am listening to songs of Metro and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, (wat did you say???, u expected something very different from this collection???.....then i must say, u have stepped on to a wrong blog..this might not be your place...i am sure u will find greener pastures around..:-D)


Well, the songs from these two films, reminds me every act, weird act, i performed in the show-house called "Compare Infobase"...without fail i still say....the place definitely had the charm to woo many if not all...i was among "many" of them.


"In-dino dil mera" and "bol na halke halke" reminds me of those showers, which stood as a transparent curtains between me standing on the verandah and those distant green scape on one side and those concrete structures on the other side, just to mention one among the numerous shots that pass my memory scape within seconds, as soon as any of these two songs start.


The sessions at Xrong, i remember i heard JBJ's songs, for the first time. i remember the capris fitting me fine, the peach colored t-shirt just highlighting the contours of my body as those were, the long tresses, wet and smelling sweet becuase of that newly discovered shampoo and the fragrance that i always wore till then....

The walk from 95, southern avenue to Deshapriya park, Rahul's car waiting in front of the National High School, me walking towards the school, Debolina beside me...and then discovering the other two sitting in the car, unlike "all-drenched" debolina and me, they were dry as a date and were looking as proper as one can manage to look for some highly anticipated interview call after ages.

"In dino dil mera" also reminds me - loosing my favorite "Osho Chappal"...well, i have fetish for objects which helps me feel "lighter" ...;-D, the same osho chappal i wore to XRONG, the time i heard JBJ's music. well and then the other two sitting in Rahul's car didnt even notice that i was on my way to office, without any "footwear..and yes...i mean it...

This song also reminds me of the "special lift" in pisi's car...though at that point of time neither of us knew each other....moment i just entered with my soiled feet , i could hear the song...

Man, i took this song as a jinxed one in my life...but....yes..as always i think i was wrong.

the post to be continued..as per the delivery from the above jagged memory,...:D:D

Winters in Daltonganj

Want to go to Daltonganj.....anytime between Dec.15 to Jan.15. why...????? Well....

1) Its my home town.....Duh

2) Want to appreciate the beauty of Nature, when tempearture is falling down to some 2 and 1 degree celsius..(well such a fall in temperature can also be experienced in many other towns and cities in India, but along with the natural beauty, the ever rising pollution level alomost comes free in this era of globalisation.)

3) I haven't experienced such a beauty in almost five years now.

4) Sudden gusts of rain...when the temperature is some 3 degree celsius.

5) Waking up in the morning which looks like evening because of mist and fog.

6) Leisurely stroll ...no not a stroll...in the afternoon, cycling through those dingy gullies and relatively broad streets where everybody looks at you as if they know you, but fails to figure at a go....and hence looks at you perplexed..and you often pass by...

7) Stroll along the riverside in the evening...like at around 4-4.30 p.m.

8) A sudden power cut on those full moon nights when you are sitting all covered in your woollens and under a blanket.

i mean..all the above experience combined...you can just afford to die after such a bliss.....

Rahul

Few things never change.....even today, Rahul reaches Deshapriya Park at 8.15.....(source:.Reliable...My sincere thanks to the reliable source.)

Mumbai

I personally salute the spirit of this city. It shows us..Life "doesnt stop"....

Incessant fight (may be "WAR", this time) against terrorism, specifically, in one part of the city give other parts more vigour to fight out the general and minimal oddities of life......Life continues...only after a traumatic shake....

Standard Chartered

The last thing on earth on which one can write i guess.......:D:D:D...

Okk..identity of the same and why it stands so significant!!!!

1) My salary account for Compare Infobase Ltd. Kolkata.:D:D:D....(A workplace with all its oddities stood special in everyway.)

2) A proper bank account, may be the first one in 24 years.

3) Still remember the guy who came in with the bank papers when the account was being opened. (looked liked Shiney Ahuja..:D:D :P:P)

4) Never used to draw money from the bank ATM, instead used all other ATMs till a certain period of time....reason..because....the nearest bank ATM from my place or office could be reached in an auto..:D:D....

5)The day i realised, i have donated almost 1000, on an average, every month for almost 4 months, for the no.4 act....then on, i started loving the bank ATM, no matter how many autos i had to change...:D:D

6) Also lost the ATM card, "not lost really"....got it back from the shuttle driver, only after getting the same blocked from the customer care service...:D:D..by the time i received the old one, i have already applied for a new card..obvious...:-

7)Received the new card after four months ..because...my address was that of Jharkhand and not Kolkata....which otherwise would have been back in my wallet within 15 days time....:P:P......

8)Religiously went to the Gariahat Branch every sunday to withdraw money during this period, when i didnt had the card.

9)Yesterday, 25th of November, 2008, i drew the last amount of money left in that account....and i have kept the slip safe...i will keep it forever....i dnt know..but i love the bank....the green, blue and white combination may b.....

10) Today, my birthday, again, as noted in all official documents, 26th of November, 2008. this bank has sent me an sms which goes this way..."Dear Customer, It's just another day, but this one is the best of the year!!Happy Birthday!-Your Right Partner, Standard Chartered Bank".....

11) True..."The right partner"...will miss banking with you......or may be banking on you...Good Bye..StanChart.....

Hothat..

....J.U r jonne mon kharap korlo...tai naam likhbo..jaader ghire oi duniya ta chilo.....jekhane ei shiit kaal gulo milan da e bose kete jeto.......chenchamichi, golpo, gujob, pechone laga, haansi, thatta, chote jawa...ei sob miliyei din gulo kete gechilo....

Nnaam gulo likhlam...britha chesta....thik parlam na.........

Aaaj dingulo ektu dhoyate hoye geche.....kintu sob sriti r modhye ke jaane keno oi din gulo konodin jhapsate hoyni...ekhono hoyni...hobe kina janina...hoyto hobe na.......

Ekhono mone pore....oi canteen er samne bose hoyto kono du jon mile ekta cha er bhaare..ekta choto golpo aar haansa haansi diye shuru hoto..tarpor ek-ek kore kotha theke sobai juute jeto.....diner seshe......jotla ta vivekanda hall er samne giye jomto.....bela goriye dupur, bikel periye sondhe..raat.....tokhun abar oi 8B morer chaaer dokan e..aarekta jomayet.....ei jomayet e university r jabotiyo chele meye thakto...jaara auto r line e dariye bari ferar ekta chesta korto....abar line theke beriye,....aabr cha khete khete, oi mathar opor rajnoitik bigyapon gulo dekhe, prochondo uttejito hoye, bhaar er por bhaar cha kheye..aaro 1, 1 1/2 ghonta deri hoye jawa....amar p.g. te dhukte aaro kichu ghontar deri.....arekta mithye kotha...ekebaare sottyi r moto kore......tarpore room e dhukei....soma r pechone lege...o ghumole or ghum bhangiye..nije kaan e radio ta chepe sei fyal fyal kore takiye thakte thakte ghumiye pora....:D:D:D

sei sokal er jotla taaye...english, ecomoncs, comparative literature, film studies er lokjon to thekei thakto....baki bodhoy edik odik theke aaro kichu lok juute jeto......sob mile jeto.....oneke oneker naam jaanto na...kintu tabole golper beg e konodino seta badhar shristi koreni...

mone pore.....baaje boka, shudhu boke jawa, maane-bihin boka......o-karone-karone haansi, loker pechone lege ekta odbhut aaram, moja.., lok ke deke deke khorak kora, tarpor cigg kinba cha ta onner naame milan daar theke newa....

hothat mone hoye..hoyto onno duniyar kotha ............bodhoi swopnoi mone hobe aaro kichu bochor baade......

Disgusting

I feel like scribbling... and I will do so…


Today is my 26th biological birthday, and 25th ,officially. Well…should I consider myself lucky for that…I give a damn….

If asked..wat significant have I done in these 26 years of existence???

NOTHING…is the only answer that comes to my mind…rite now..and probably whenever this question will be asked..

Well…if I really make an effort to jot down….(real effort mind you):

1) Have bugged everyone irrespective of whoever I have known in these years. (They have never enjoyed it really…at times I have enjoyed bugging them, intentionally..at time it was my nature..and therefore it came naturally from me, unintentionally and they were naturally irritated..)…ohh…looks like I cared!!!!!! FART..

2) Have managed to gobble some stupid academic degrees..(does it help in life???)well…first class everytime…without fail…(do I sound like I am proud of those achievements??…yes I am…because I have nothing else to be proud of…)

3) Have managed to go to places for studies u c(Oh studious u mean!!!…and then work…:O…well the list comprises of Hazaribagh, Varanasi, Kolkata and now Mumbai…(So wat is the big deal mam????..nothing man..please note… I am making a list of my achievements..:-)


Achievements that were not welcomed but embraced me…

1) 26…. don’t have a proper, secure and stable professional graph and status..same applies to personal life…..(wooo…u mean ….wanderer????i see it mentioned somewhere else too in this blog.. :O:O) Bull shit..

2) I have not been to my home town almost two years now….( okkk..so that is a point to be proud of!!!!:O…. why don’t I die????a question I often ask myself and people around me also ask…I dnt have an answer to it!!!)FART and FUCK OFF.

3) Have been cheated twice ….crystal clear…3rd is always on the way, I mean u dnt get to see the unseen and can expect anything, rite…….( know wat…i always tried Acting Smart and the bastards were always Smart….)..okk..so being cheated…..an achievement…....so perpetual loss of faith and trust. Have acquired the great caliber to doubt one and all…still get cheated….because have been better still in doubting the wrong person.


Confession on this day..no not resolutions..but I would definitely like doing these..sometime…may be in an year’s time..which would give me an opportunity to jot down some real achievements next year, I guess….(Keeping my fingers crossed)

1) Want to go to Daltonganj..be there….for at least 10 days….come back happy…do something that my parents expect from me..even the other family members…(what they want me to do at present is …GET MARRIED….., well, that’s a different interesting story altogether):D:D

2) Seriously man, high time..a stable professional life…personal, doubtlessly, I look forward to …I need both of that.

Ohhh….a big list of achievements……and stop self pitying and acting as a gyaan paapi….slut …….

My Birthday

Well....to start with, as usual my card validity has expired on 24th November at 23:59hrs. My apology goes to one and all who tried wishing me at the mid-night, might be a very few...but whatever..and whoever.....

Strangely, 1st one to wish me on my b'day was, 160by2.com, i was surprised to see no sender's name along with the message but then realized what it was. second and without fail since last four years Amrita Di...she wishes me without fail and i without fail forget to wish her on her wedding anniversary which falls on the same date.....things remained the same even this year.

I am again dead sure...Satabdi Sengupta and Soma Mukherjee, (well..now that she is Mrs..she has more chores to handle I guess..oohhhh.....as if i care....) these mortals have been taking pleasure in forgetting my birthday since three years now and everytime i remind them they come up with faces and blows of sorry feeling as if my birthday has turned into my death day. well, they sound clear and straight in not giving any excuses..(modest and honest they r u c)...and then dramatics like, " ki kore toke mukh dekhabo", "chi....ki kore bhule gelam....chiiiiiiii" and all those stuff everytime i remind them of the same. well, this time i have given them a reason as to why they cldn't call...but let me tell you ...incoming messages r still free and those r coming in.

If i am not wrong, sarmistha and pallavi will soon follow the league...if not reminded by some other people...i think they will wish me mid way but only if they remember…..

neways..whatever it is....it feels good...

Banashree was the first one to wish me last night.....

Well...improvement..satabdi remembered..she wished me...:D:D:D....not only that..has sent me a bouquet alongwith a teddy......very happy..but teddy ta dekhe ektu maane.....ahem....satabdi..bhalobasssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

acha ..correction..sarmistha has tried calling me up a number of times on my roommate's cell......thankyou..tomakeo bhalobasssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

pallavi says.....i was suppose to remind her a day before.....so its been my fault that i didnt remind her........i c...

Soma...smartest ass...banashree called her up and reminded her........she messaged me at 2 in the afternoon...

neways....sobai k bhalobasssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiii

Lost, i am

Mumbai, at times looks good, at times ...no not sad, not depressing...but u know the city is so huge, my mortal being just fail to get the links to its over the centuries existence. . ..The grandeur of the city with my mere attempts to know it, fails to strike a balance in between. I am often left to wander "no-where" after travelling a distance of say some 30 kilometers over a span of two hours.

Well, i dnt complain, the city allure thousands with such vastness of its own and by which it definitely swears to the upcoming trend of lifestyle and living.

Only that i get lost ...i g haywire...i fail to find an identity of my own while moving.....

To You

Had i been in kolkata i am not sure whether i would have gone to the 14th Kolkata International Film Festival or not. But irrespective of that, now that i am not in kolkata, i am missing the event, i will miss the event and i will keep missing it for reasons plenty. I will miss it for the next seven days, may b till the next year, may be anytime till amnesia hits me.

This event reminds me cliched (ly) of an opportunity to watch films....goes without saying, but a number of other activities that used to keep me really busy - i will be missing those.

I will be missing those poke that i got for not making it to one of the good films of the festival, poke for just sitting idle when all were too enthusiastic to watch a certain screening, poke at the moment when realization has dawned on all others that they have also missed a film just because of the contagious lethargy.

I will be missing end number of people whom i met only during those seven days. I will be missing just a "hi" from someone whom i had met years back and then a sudden pleasure of meeting them again, may be just for a fleeting minute if not second. I will be missing the center seat in the "Nandan Complex", where neither you nor any one can miss each other's presence, i will be missing those "just-sit-beside" conversation and eventually ending up being another prominent acquaintance in each other's list.

I will be missing moving out of a hall, creeping, on not liking the film. I will be missing saying a lie to someone about a film which i havent watched on a positive review about the same hitting my ear. I will be missing saying a lie about watching a film from the start to the end, in which i have actually slept through the whole film.

I will be missing those last shows and then waiting for a taxi for just an hour, may b it was nt about getting a taxi it was just about spending another hour discussing about the day and the days to come.

I will miss the cold breeze, i will miss the chill of the halls, specially Rabindra sadan and Shishir Mancha.

I will be missing u all, i will be missing it all....but i think i will like missing it for that will give me sense of how i enjoyed "Something", which i never realised.

The surname game

Changes in these surnames:

1) Duttaray --> Chakraborty

2) Mohanty -->Parija

3) Hatimuria --> (wld b..) dnt know

4) Mukherjee --> Gupta

5) Sengupta --> NO IDEA

Well, as inference can be easily drawn, or if not, the above mentioned surnames (the first ones) were all tagged to the persons who were my "Friends".

Well, the first three just changed, leaving not much impacts on my existence. The surnames were rolled in and rolled out just as the role of those people in my life..nothing great.....came in and went away....were there till my eyes could see them....were out of my mind moment they were not seen.......so may be i will just refer them to as roommates that they were for 1 year and the contact game was intact till the change in surname.

Well, the change of the 4th on the list will definitely have a greater impact on my life in compared to in any other surname getting changed in this world.

Mukherjee, Soma Mukherjee to Soma Gupta, As her husband's Souvik Gupta....

-- I know her: since circa 2000
-- Roommate: 2000-2002, again 2003-2005.....4 years.
-- Stayed in the same city : 2000-2008.

Yyes, thats the number. 8 years of togetherness, friendship, hatred, love, disgust, well being, pleasure, displeasure and all emptions that a person can have in a span of 8 years, per se, every emotions were exchanged and were noted on each other's existence.

Ok...she stood witness to all my highs and lows....she knew better than me when i was happy, she knew better than my parents when i was sad, she knew better than anyone, when i was not in the right mood. May be, one get to know a person better than anyone else when they have to spend 24/7 with the person under the same roof.

Well, we had to put up at different places, during the later years as per the call of the situation and time. (May be that was just an epilogue to the time coming..).

Our rendezvous or should i say meetings or dont know wat xactly, was carried on holidays, sundays, saturdays, even if not regularly, yes, sporadically. One and some more things for sure, we knew if there was no one we were just a call away from each other. We knew if we dnt have any plans to spend the day, we cn just call up and plan out somethig which will definitely make the day more interesting than any other days. We knew, we wanted to watch a movie at the night show and if we dnt get a conveyance after the show gets over....we cn walk down the lane or any distance just with the craps, silly laughters and what not.....We knew we can laugh at the silliest things for hours, we knew we can discuss the most serious things in life, that we considered serious enough, fr hours, we knew we can wake up wither of us no matter how deep sleep we r in.

But having said all that...it doesnt mean..we never fought, we never got tired of each other, at times we wanted "Not to be with each other"....and the reunion was never a reunion, the hatred or the disgust didnt change just in a second.........we hated each other for the silliest reason, we were irritated on each other just because we had no one around to vent that irritation out....yes.."Punch Bag" they call it......no regrets for the fights, no tears for the times we werent together. .....we tolerated each other's oddities as it were....no complains......... we enjoyed just the way we were with each other.

Now if i sit to think...wat about those loud laughters while watching a movie? Wat about those fridays, saturdays and sundays..when we knew we were definitely there to be with each other, willingly or unwillingly??!! Wat about those night shows, which when ended saw us laughing for getting no conveyance way back home? Wat about those sudden mood swings or irritations when i knew you were there where i can vent out all and all would just set in perfectly with an equal jitter from the other side......no idea......

Well, things changes, circumstances changes and people always find their ways out.....certainly i will, may be with your help.......

......And for the change in the 4th surname ....i really have no idea as to what will happen.........only i can hope and wish, not to witness the effect of that change in the surname and then residing in the same city.